When my partner and I arrive anywhere with our lively crew, we instantly become a party of six. It can be chaotic, exhausting, and, let’s be honest, incredibly loud. Yet, it’s also beautiful; these kids are my everything, and I wouldn’t trade my bustling family for anything in the world.
However, I’m not going to sugarcoat it—having a large family comes with its challenges. Like every other mom, I sometimes feel overwhelmed, with household chores piling up and fingerprints adorning my walls. At times, it feels like I’m barely hanging on, and that’s okay. I share these struggles openly, hoping to bridge the gap between mothers facing different battles.
Sadly, I’ve encountered a surprising amount of snark directed at moms with multiple children.
For the most part, I try to ignore the judgment, but honestly, I’m fed up with it. I’m tired of being interrupted mid-sentence by condescending comments like, “Did you think it would get easier after your first, second, or third?” or “Why did you decide to have more kids?” Yes, my husband and I have four kids—all under the age of four. We made that choice, and we own it.
But here’s the thing: we, like any other family, are allowed to express our challenges without facing judgment simply because our family size doesn’t fit into someone else’s idea of normal.
When I hear those snarky remarks, I can’t help but laugh. It’s amusing how little some people understand about our lives. In reality, we have five children, but many don’t know that unless they’re close to us. I don’t start conversations by saying, “Hi, I’m Laura, and I have a noisy, chaotic family, but we’re missing one child due to SIDS.” That’s simply too heavy to share in every encounter.
As for the two toddlers and two preschoolers I’m often seen with, they are two sets of twins—a fact that often comes up only after explaining. I’m not sharing this to justify our family size, but rather to emphasize that every family has its complexities.
We never know a mother’s story—perhaps she has struggled with infertility and longed for even one child. Or maybe she’s perfectly happy with just one child, and that’s her choice. Ultimately, another family’s narrative is not my business.
It doesn’t matter how my family came to be—what matters is that all mothers face hardships worthy of recognition. Yet, society seems to have developed a “no sympathy” attitude towards those of us with larger families, as if we should endure our difficulties silently simply because we chose to have more kids.
Why should we accept this tough love? Moms with many children require the same compassion and understanding as any other parent. This unwarranted negativity is baffling and needs to stop. When you dismiss our challenges, it feels as if you consider us akin to a child who complains about tripping over a toy they were told to pick up. We’re adults, and having a large family comes with its own set of real issues.
Big families aren’t the problem. The lack of empathy from others is where the issue lies, and I’ve had enough. I refuse to apologize for my cherished family or feel that my voice is insignificant because I chose to embrace the joys of a larger household.
I proudly embrace my role as a mom of many, and my struggles are just as valid as anyone else’s.
For more insights on the journey of motherhood, you might find this article on fertility boosters helpful. If you’re interested in exploring options for family planning, this at-home insemination kit can be a great resource. Additionally, for comprehensive knowledge on artificial insemination, check out this Wikipedia entry.
Summary
Large families face unique challenges that deserve understanding and compassion, rather than judgment. Each family has its own story, and we should support one another, acknowledging that struggles are universal regardless of family size.
Keyphrase: large families support
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