It was a typical Sunday at church when my wife and I encountered a woman we had just met, who couldn’t help but suggest we should have more children. This was back in 2010, shortly after we relocated to Minnesota. At the time, we had two kids, and our youngest was still an infant. While the woman didn’t say it overtly, she remarked after we shared our family story, “You can’t stop at two, you realize that, right?” She proceeded to rave about the joys of her five children, claiming that having more made life easier. I had to resist the urge to cover her mouth to mute her unsolicited advice.
Of course, I stayed polite. We thanked her for her input, but we certainly didn’t tell her to mind her own business or stop projecting her beliefs about family size onto us. Yet, we also didn’t share our reality. We didn’t mention that my wife, Sarah, had faced a severe case of toxemia during her first pregnancy that necessitated an emergency C-section. We kept quiet about how, just weeks before our conversation, our newborn, Emma, had struggled with underdeveloped lungs and spent time in the NICU. I was under immense stress and had lost 25 pounds during that period. The medical bills were still piling up, and every cry from Emma was a reminder of how close we had come to losing her.
It was during this time that we made the decision not to expand our family any further. We both recognized that we lacked the emotional resilience for another child. The mere thought of adding to our family brought back memories of the harrowing experience we had just endured.
The unsolicited suggestions about our family size felt especially intrusive. While Sarah and I had once discussed having more than two kids, that was prior to facing the harrowing journey of nearly losing our second child. The truth is, family planning is intensely personal, and no outsider should presume to comment on it.
There are a myriad of valid reasons why couples might choose to limit their family size. Some may struggle financially, while others may have concerns regarding overpopulation. For some, infertility can make parenthood a hard-fought victory, and others may choose to forgo children entirely, which is perfectly valid. Every family structure is “right” for its own reasons; bigger isn’t always better.
Fast forward five years, and we did decide to welcome another child, but it was a well-considered choice. Our son, Max, came into the world without complications. However, Sarah endured a painful recovery—she developed pockets of air in her body post-C-section, something we had never encountered before. I vividly recall her sleepless nights, wracked with pain. After that experience, we felt complete with three children. Sarah had undergone three surgeries to bring three wonderful kids into this world, and we both agreed it was time to stop. I opted for a vasectomy, and we felt no regrets whatsoever.
Not long after Max was born, another stranger—this time at a park—suggested we should have “just one more.” It was frustrating how little thought people put into such comments, as if our family planning was open for public debate. Family size is a deeply personal decision that should remain private. The complexities and challenges of bringing a child into the world are numerous, and the decision should be left to the parents, not outsiders.
Unless someone explicitly asks for advice on family planning, it’s best to keep your thoughts about family size to yourself.
For those considering the journey of parenthood, understanding the intricacies involved is crucial. Resources like Healthline provide excellent information on pregnancy, while you can explore options for family creation with links to Make a Mom’s Artificial Insemination Kit and their comprehensive 21-piece at-home insemination kit.
Summary
Pressure from outsiders regarding family size can be overwhelming and intrusive. Family planning is a deeply personal choice that should be respected. There are many valid reasons why couples may choose to limit the number of children they have. Ultimately, decisions about expanding a family should be left to the parents themselves.
Keyphrase: stop pressuring families to have more children
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]