Why Moms Struggle with Sleep

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It all kicks off at 7 a.m. The baby wails, and my feet hit the ground, immediately reminding me of the same thought: “Not enough sleep again.” I squint at the clock—five, yes, a grand total of five hours last night. This is rough, but let’s be real, I’ve brought this upon myself. After all, I’m not a rookie; I know better than to stay up past midnight scrolling through social media and binge-watching my latest obsession. And yet, here we are.

Letting out a yawn that resembles a lion’s roar, I can’t help but regret that last episode of my favorite series. Time to muster up some energy, even if it means hopping on the Struggle Bus, where dreams of sleep will loop in my mind like elevator music for the next eight hours.

Fueled by caffeine, I start brewing coffee and packing lunches, and the day takes off like a freight train. I’m unsure if I’m riding it or standing in front of it, but fingers crossed the caffeine will help. My kids are in full swing: pulling at my clothes, spilling breakfast everywhere, and debating whether to watch Moana or Sing. It’s chaos already, but I put on a smile and pull up my metaphorical Big Girl Panties.

I can’t let my fatigue impact them. It’s not their fault I chose to binge-watch that show last night. In this moment, I promise myself, once again, that tonight is the night I will hit the sack early. I’ll shut down Facebook, close my eyes, and finally tackle the sleep deprivation that’s haunted me for years. I need my rest, and they need me to be well-rested.

You would think that after a long day, when the opportunity arises, I would dive into that cozy bed, switch off my phone, and actually get some sleep. But you’d be mistaken.

What’s wrong with me? Who willingly lives like this? What kind of person dreams of sleep like it’s a long-lost friend, only to push it away like a pre-coffee call from the in-laws? All the moms around the world raise their hands.

Moms know the truth. When the kids are finally tucked in and the lights go dim, that’s when a magical second wind surprises us. It’s as if our brains come alive, and we suddenly have the energy to burn the midnight oil. Sure, we joke about our exhaustion, but deep down, we acknowledge that even when sleep beckons, we often decline.

Because nighttime is our time! The house is serene, and we get a moment to ourselves. We tend to stay up a little too late, sneaking in one extra episode or enjoying some personal time without the little ones needing juice, diaper changes, or help with shoes.

We crave sleep, but we also long for solitude. Unfortunately, there aren’t enough hours in the day to fulfill both needs. It may be hard to comprehend, but every mom experiences two conflicting voices: one yearning for a cozy nap and one that rolls her eyes, reminding her that “Sleep is never going to happen. Stop trying to make sleep happen!”

We are all weary, but that weariness is multifaceted—physical, mental, and emotional. Sleep may resolve one aspect, but what about the rest? As parents, we also need emotional rejuvenation, so we stay up late, relishing quiet moments to ourselves. For many of us, that means we will be awake long after bedtime.

Yes, I’ve been contemplating sleep all day, but come bedtime, I’ll probably choose to stay up once more. Why? Because I’m a mom, and I embrace this perpetual state of sleep deprivation while still cherishing the beautiful chaos of life. These two realities coexist in perfect harmony.

So here’s to all the sleep-deprived mamas out there! We are unique, resilient women, united in motherhood. While we’re proud to wear our scary mom badges, we also need spaces to discuss life beyond parenting. For more insights, check out our other blog posts on topics like home insemination journey, which you can explore further at Make a Mom. If you’re looking for helpful resources on pregnancy, WebMD is an excellent place to start.

In summary, while sleep eludes us, we find joy in our chaotic lives and embrace our roles, navigating motherhood with grace and humor.

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