For the first four decades of my life, the idea of using a sex toy never crossed my mind. I found pleasure both alone and with my partner, so it seemed unnecessary. To be frank, the thought of a non-human object making contact with my private parts felt strange. If I was looking for a cold object inside me, I could just visit my gynecologist. No thanks.
Those of you who regularly indulge in sex toys might think I’m a bit out of touch. But that’s how I felt. After enjoying intimate moments for 40 years without any toys, introducing something new felt overwhelming and a tad annoying. I often thought to myself, “I’m too old for that.”
However, this mindset became the very reason I decided to change my approach. As I age, I find myself more resistant to new experiences. Trying new things, meeting people, or even using a vibrating device felt daunting. That’s not the kind of middle-aged woman I wanted to be.
Shortly after I turned 41, I decided to explore a few gadgets that had been generously sent to me for review. The first was the Sona by Lelo, a clitoral stimulator that resembles a chic mini back massager. The second, also from Lelo, was the Soraya, a rabbit vibrator designed to target both the clitoris and G-spot. Lastly, there was the Crescendo, a versatile vibe that can be shaped for use on various erogenous zones.
I’ll admit I took my time unboxing these toys. My tech-phobia kicked in, and the thought of charging them and connecting them to my phone (which you can do with the Crescendo) was intimidating. Plus, I worried about where to charge them without my inquisitive kids stumbling upon them. That added stress was quite the mood killer.
Eventually, I enlisted my husband’s help to set everything up—a somewhat ironic and outdated solution, but it was necessary. If I wanted to give this a fair shot, I needed to prep.
The first toy I experimented with was the Sona. I tried it with my husband, and while it was fun initially, it soon became irritating. Despite adjusting various settings, I couldn’t find a comfortable level of pressure. I even tried it solo, but nothing compared to the satisfaction I felt using my own hands. Relaxation is key for a good orgasm, and with the Sona, I just couldn’t seem to let go.
My experience with the Crescendo was similar. I didn’t enjoy it for clitoral stimulation; perhaps some people simply prefer different sensations. However, it did provide decent vaginal stimulation, though it lacked the fullness I craved. It might be great for those looking for more localized stimulation, but it didn’t quite excite me.
Now, you might be thinking I’m a total failure when it comes to sex toys. But I had a better experience with the Soraya! I used it while masturbating on two occasions, and it was genuinely enjoyable. I did have to maneuver around the clitoral stimulator, which was a bit annoying, but the G-spot stimulation was on point and met my desire for fullness. For someone who often wishes for more vaginal stimulation, this toy delivered.
Will I use the Soraya again? Perhaps. As a busy working mom, I rarely find time for self-pleasure, and I’m not sure I’ll remember to charge it regularly. Plus, cleaning it afterward—though straightforward—feels like an extra chore that doesn’t exactly turn me on.
Still, I find the Soraya appealing enough that it even made a cameo in one of my dreams recently, which I thought was charming. It seems like I’m gradually warming up to the idea of incorporating these devices into my life, and maybe they won’t feel so foreign after all.
Ultimately, while my experience wasn’t a home run, it was a positive step. I learned that discovering the right sex toy can take time and that preferences vary from person to person. I assumed I would prefer clitoral stimulators because many friends swear by them, but that wasn’t the case for me.
Most importantly, I realized that trying new things—even those that involve insertion—can be a worthwhile endeavor for a woman of my age, and it’s something I should embrace more often.
If you’re interested in exploring your options further, check out this guide on home insemination kits or consider the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo. For comprehensive information on fertility, you can also refer to Healthline’s resource on IVF.
In summary, exploring sex toys in my 40s was a journey of discovery that reminded me of the importance of trying new things. Not every experience will be perfect, but it’s all part of the adventure of life.
Keyphrase: Trying a vibrator in my 40s
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]