As spring approaches, any parent of a high school senior feels the emotional weight of impending change. The longer days and rising temperatures signal that the time for goodbyes is near. Your child, now nearly 18, is eager to leave home—the very place you’ve dedicated years to nurturing.
Here’s some guidance that you may find helpful, though you’re welcome to ignore it. Just remember, your little one—who has tested your patience and pushed your buttons for so long—is about to embark on a new chapter. They’ll be moving out, and the reality of not seeing them every day is sinking in.
The pride you feel for your child’s achievements is about to be put to the test. It’s time to muster the strength to help them transition into this new phase of life. I’ve been there. I’ve given heartfelt hugs, expressed my pride, and then sobbed all the way home while my partner kept asking if I was alright. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t, and that day changed everything. Your life as you know it will be different. Families don’t remain under one roof forever—that’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s also completely normal. So, let’s prepare for this “my-child-is-moving-out” journey together.
Here are five practical tips to navigate this transition:
- Assist in Packing, But Don’t Do It for Them.
It sounds straightforward, but you’ll be surprised by what they overlook. Set aside time to review the university’s packing checklist and take them shopping for essentials—like a shower caddy and new towels, because dorm bathrooms can be less than clean. New towels can provide comfort, so fold and pack them with care. It’s okay to let a few tears fall; you deserve those wins as you adjust to this new reality. - Embrace Lists.
Universities thrive on lists, and you’ll receive them for packing, dorm supplies, and approved appliances (yes, my friend’s daughter had a specific list for eco-friendly gadgets). Following these lists can bring a sense of accomplishment—check those boxes! - Discuss Finances.
It’s crucial to have ongoing conversations about budgeting, not just one comprehensive chat. My 20-year-old receives quarterly financial check-ins. Teaching your child about money management is vital as they learn to balance spending with saving. Ensure they understand it’s okay to splurge occasionally—like those stylish overalls for game day—while also stressing the importance of budgeting for the future. - Be Their Parent, Not Their Friend.
This can be challenging since it’s often easier to be a friend. However, your unconditional love means holding them accountable. Offer support, but also be firm when necessary. College is their new job, and you are their supervisor—schedule regular reviews to discuss their academic performance. It’s not about being popular; it’s about fostering responsible adults. - Look Them in the Eye and Say Goodbye.
When the moment arrives, prepare yourself for the emotional weight of the farewell. As one friend put it, it can feel like leaving behind a part of yourself. Practice your goodbyes, and ensure your child sees you’re okay. Smile, let them know you believe in their success, and then walk away, even if your heart feels heavy.
I’ll never forget my own experience saying goodbye at UC Berkeley; I held my breath all the way to the car. Your new normal is just around the corner. After 18 years of nurturing, it’s time to watch them soar. And remember, the holidays will come quickly—they’ll be home before you know it.
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Summary
Preparing to say goodbye to your college freshman is an emotional yet necessary journey. By assisting with packing, embracing lists, discussing finances, maintaining your parental role, and practicing heartfelt farewells, you can navigate this transition with strength.
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