I Had to Let Go of My Own Mother to Be the Best Mom I Could Be

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If you’ve read this far and find yourself thinking, “Are you serious? She gave you life and raised you; you should just forgive and move on,” then you probably haven’t experienced a toxic or harmful parental relationship. That’s wonderful, truly, and I mean that without a hint of sarcasm.

However, if you found yourself nodding in understanding or felt a pang of anxiety while reading the title, you are not alone. Some of us face the harsh reality that maintaining a relationship with our own parents can be impossible. Sometimes, we must separate from those who brought us into this world to protect our own hearts, minds, and families.

It’s natural to feel sadness over what could have been—the ideal family gatherings that we often envision but never experience. You may long for the happy moments that others seem to enjoy, like cozy Sunday dinners at Grandma’s while you sneak away for a much-needed date night with your partner.

Like many, I held onto the hope of a loving relationship far too long. I allowed myself to feel defeated, manipulated, and emotionally drained. I sought forgiveness that was never genuinely given and endured labels like “overdramatic” or “self-centered.” The pain of dismissal cut deep, leaving scars that never fully heal.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point. Nearly four years ago, I declared enough was enough. Since then, I’ve had no contact with my mother, aside from a brief lapse in judgment that reinforced my decision. The complexities of this choice extend beyond just me; my relationships with siblings and extended family have also suffered. Family dynamics can be very complicated.

I cherish my siblings and always welcome their calls, but my priority is now my own children. They deserve a mother who is healthy, happy, and emotionally stable. In order to be the mom I’ve always wanted to be for them, I had to sever ties with my own mother.

Her actions ranged from blatant abuse to subtle manipulation, leaving me feeling unloved and endlessly questioning my own sensitivity. The trauma from her treatment is so deeply ingrained that she serves as a trigger for my anxiety. Even writing this brings back heavy emotions, memories I’ve tried to suppress.

You’re not alone in this struggle; many face the painful impacts of toxic parents. It’s a challenging reality that goes against societal norms, making it difficult for others to understand why I don’t include my mother in family celebrations or daily conversations.

This is my truth. I had to let go of that toxic relationship to thrive as my best self and, in turn, become the kind of mom my children deserve. I want them to feel safe and loved so that they will always return home, bringing their own families with them.

If you are navigating similar challenges, there are resources available. For more information on home insemination, check out this informative blog post about artificial insemination kits. Additionally, Cryobaby offers an excellent home insemination syringe kit that can be a reliable choice. Also, for those seeking help with infertility, ACOG provides valuable resources to guide your journey.

In summary, breaking away from a toxic parental relationship can be a painful but necessary step toward healing and growth. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and create a nurturing environment for your own children.

Keyphrase: toxic parent relationships

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