Why do I feel irritable? What makes me seem unhappy at times? Why do I snap so easily? Honestly, it’s you, my dear partner. The weight of our world—my world and our four children’s world—rests heavily on my weary shoulders, and it’s becoming overwhelming.
I cherish being the go-to person for our kids when they need something. It’s comforting to know that I am their source of reassurance. However, it would be refreshing to share some of these responsibilities instead of shouldering them all alone. I didn’t bring our children into this world by myself, and I certainly won’t handle everything single-handedly with a smile on my face. If that’s what you expect, then you’ve chosen the wrong partner.
There are times when I feel utterly drained. Just once, while I’m in the bathroom, it would be amazing if you could pause your online battles and get our kids a drink when they’re clamoring for my attention. “Mommy, I need this. Mommy, I need that.” All while I’m trying to finish up my own business.
So why am I on edge or quick to snap? Because I lack the support I need from you. It feels as though my cries for assistance fall on deaf ears. You see that I manage to juggle everything, even when I’m stretched thin, so you don’t seem to worry about my emotional or physical state. I love our children enough to handle it all, but I can’t keep going like this without feeling like I’m going to crumble.
You’ve taken my strength for granted. You notice how hard I work around the house and that I manage to keep it together, but you don’t take my frustrations seriously. I pour so much of myself into caring for everyone else, yet I rarely receive the same in return. I’m running on empty, and that is not acceptable.
I’m not a 1950s housewife, and I have no desire to fit into that mold. However, it often feels like you expect me to be. The constant pressure to maintain a perfect home is exhausting, and frankly, I’m fed up. How often have you done the dishes in the past six years? Maybe a handful of times? Including those moments when I was in the hospital? Exactly.
How can you comment on the state of our home when I am also working and managing the chaos of four kids under four? You complain about laundry and clutter, and I’m starting to think you just enjoy complaining for the sake of it, which I am tired of.
The next time you ask why I’m racing around the house, cleaning in a fury, ask yourself: What have I done today to help? I recognize that you work hard outside the home, and I appreciate that. But I work hard too, even if my job entails cleaning up after the kids all day long. Just because it seems like I haven’t accomplished anything doesn’t mean that’s true.
Moreover, I have never been a neat freak, and you’ve known me long enough to understand that. I won’t change for you. I value quality time with our kids over a spotless house. I know I will never regret a messy home, but I will always regret time lost with them.
I just want to know when I can have time for myself again. I understand the importance of cherishing these fleeting moments, but sometimes, I wish I could wipe without an audience critiquing my technique. “Front to back, Mommy. Don’t forget. Do it like you tell me.” It’s cute sometimes, but I desperately need a couple of minutes of peace to think.
I want time with my friends, and I want time for myself. I’m exhausted being the caretaker without anyone caring for me in return, and that’s on you. You’re meant to be my partner, but it often feels like I’m alone in this.
I’m stretched too thin and often at my breaking point. Do you care at all, or are you oblivious to the reality of being the mom I am? My needs and desires are valid. I do enough, I am enough, and my role as a mother doesn’t define every part of me. Stop trying to mold me into what you want and then wondering why I’m frustrated. It should be clear.
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In summary, I need you to recognize my struggles and support me as a partner, not just as a father. We need to share this journey together, or I fear I won’t be able to keep it all together much longer.
Keyphrase: Grumpy wife due to lack of support
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”
