Fifteen years ago, if someone had told me that social media would have such a powerful grip on our lives, I would have thought they were crazy. While platforms like Facebook can be beneficial, they often contribute to daily stress and can significantly affect our romantic relationships—usually in a negative way.
Years ago, I discovered my ex-partner’s infidelity through Facebook, which left me with emotional scars that lingered into my current marriage. Despite being together for several years, I found myself increasingly anxious about my husband’s online activities. I thought that by limiting my exposure to his profile, I’d feel better. However, Facebook’s updates only made it harder to avoid seeing what he liked and commented on.
In an attempt to express my feelings, I spoke to my husband, but every conversation turned into a conflict—not because he was doing anything wrong, but due to my unresolved trust issues with social media. We were not alone in this struggle. A Pew Research Center study from 2014 indicated that many couples cite social media as a source of relationship strife.
Social media allows us to showcase an edited version of our lives. Birthday tributes, holiday gift posts, and relationship milestones create an illusion that can lead to feelings of inadequacy. I often found myself questioning my husband’s feelings when I felt excluded from his online world, resulting in unnecessary arguments about our digital lives. My insecurity amplified whenever I noticed my absence in his online interactions.
During a conversation with my mom, who didn’t understand why my husband and I were Facebook friends, I began to reconsider. Why did I feel the need to be connected to him virtually? Why allow social media to affect our peaceful home life? Research backs up that many share similar challenges, so I reflected on whether maintaining that online connection was adding stress to our relationship.
As parenting took up more of our time, it allowed us to focus less on trivial social media disputes. Yet, I still grappled with anxiety every time I encountered his name online. Then one day, during a routine chat on messenger about social media, I decided to take the plunge. My hand trembled as I hovered over the “unfriend” button, but once I clicked it, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
Surprisingly, our relationship didn’t crumble when I unfriended him. In fact, when I mentioned it a few days later, he hadn’t even realized it. I had worried so much about the decision, only to find that it barely registered with him.
In a world dominated by social media portrayals of perfect couples, it’s easy to feel inadequate. However, we need to remember that what we see is usually just a highlight reel, not the complete story. You don’t need to post every affectionate moment to maintain a healthy relationship.
Since stepping back from our online connection, I’ve sought mental clarity and found that I was letting online perceptions affect my well-being. Our communication during his breaks has remained strong; we still share memes and humorous videos, and our bond is solid.
While it would be ideal to live in a world where social media doesn’t weigh heavily on our relationships, I realized that removing my husband from my friends list was a crucial step in managing my stress. It was definitely worth it!
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In summary, sometimes stepping back from social media can lead to a healthier relationship by reducing unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Keyphrase: social media and relationships
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