Why I Confronted My Daughter’s Cyberbully: A Parent’s Perspective

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As a mother of three teenagers, I’ve given each of them the freedom to have their own phones and Instagram accounts, under the condition that they maintain respectful behavior online. This responsibility isn’t just on them; it’s also mine and my partner’s to routinely monitor their social media presence.

If you’re a parent with tweens or teens, I strongly encourage you to do the same. That seemingly polite kid who excels academically might just be posting hurtful comments, while your own child could surprise you with their online behavior.

Cyberbullying is a serious issue that can severely affect young people’s mental health, leading to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and even violent tendencies. It’s a concern that should never be brushed aside.

Recently, my ex-husband reached out with worries after checking out my daughter’s new boyfriend on Instagram. A few days earlier, the boyfriend had posted a picture of some new sneakers, and a girl commented, “Why are you dating a hoe?”

The moment I saw that comment, a wave of anger surged through me. There’s no way to stay calm when someone disparages your child. My daughter’s boyfriend didn’t reply, and the girl’s friends joined in with laughter and more derogatory remarks.

I was furious and felt compelled to message the girl directly. Not even the cautioning words of my ex-husband could hold me back. I wasn’t going to let this girl get away with calling my daughter a hoe without consequences.

In my message, I expressed my disappointment: “You should reconsider the impact of your words on Instagram. I know you’re better than calling young women derogatory names, especially my daughter.”

The backlash was swift and ugly; I received several hurtful messages, not just from her but also from her friends. It was shocking to see teenagers hurling insults at an adult without any shame. If they could do that to me, what were they saying to one another?

The boyfriend promptly deleted the comment, and it turned out my daughter didn’t even know this girl. However, she was aware of the girl’s best friend, who had been bullying her at school for three years — a fact I had been unaware of. My daughter had previously blocked this girl on social media, only for her to recruit a friend to continue the harassment.

Fortunately, the school stepped in and handled the situation well, checking in with my daughter while addressing the behavior of the other girls involved. Since my ex and I got involved, my daughter reported that the bullying had stopped.

Had my ex not taken the time to check on our daughter’s social media, we might have missed this entirely. It’s a reminder of the daily struggles kids face. Hiding behind a screen often brings out the worst in people, especially if they’re hurting or feeling empowered to be unkind.

If you notice your child exhibiting mood swings, hiding their phone, or withdrawing from social interactions, these could be signs of cyberbullying. It’s crucial to take such behaviors seriously. Organizations like Stop Bullying recommend that parents engage with their children, ask questions, and monitor their social media activity.

We ensure our kids eat well, wear clean clothes, and stay on top of their homework, so why wouldn’t we also check in on their online behavior? I’m not one to dismiss my children’s imperfections, and I won’t be the parent who insists, “Not my kid” when they face accusations.

While I recognize this situation may have hardened my daughter, I refuse to turn a blind eye. Just as we care for our kids when they suffer physical injuries, we must also pay attention to their emotional well-being online.

If you encounter any negativity or bullying involving your child, please don’t hesitate to reach out to other parents or the school. Open communication is key to ensuring our children’s safety.

For more information on navigating parenting challenges, check out our other blog posts, such as this guide on artificial insemination kits for those considering starting a family. For additional resources on pregnancy, visit WomensHealth.gov.

In summary, awareness and action are vital when it comes to protecting our children from the dangers of cyberbullying. Stay informed, communicate openly, and don’t hesitate to intervene when necessary.

Keyphrase: confronting cyberbullying

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