Recently, I’ve opened up about the challenges we’re facing with sleep training our six-month-old. After sharing my experiences on social media, I was overwhelmed with messages from others who are navigating similar struggles. It seems that helping a child sleep through the night is a universal goal for parents, yet the advice out there can be incredibly conflicting. From “let them cry it out” to “always soothe them,” the options can leave anyone feeling bewildered.
Determining what works best for both you and your baby during this process is no small feat. Once a plan is in place, implementing it while battling fatigue adds another layer of complexity. We’ve found it challenging, and I’m sure many parents can relate.
While I’m not a sleep expert—our recent nights would suggest otherwise—I firmly believe in trusting your instincts regarding sleep training.
So here’s why I will always choose to comfort my baby:
A few months back, I stumbled upon a story that profoundly impacted me. Although I can’t recall the exact source, the tale has lingered in my mind. The author recounted a visit to an overseas orphanage, where she was first struck by the sheer number of infants in care. What stood out even more was the unsettling silence; none of the babies were crying. They lay quietly in their cribs, some asleep and others awake, but not a single one was vocalizing their needs.
When she inquired how the caretakers managed to keep the babies so quiet, the response was heart-wrenching. The staff explained that there were too many infants to attend to each one. Over time, these babies learned that no matter how much they cried, no one would come to comfort them. So, they stopped trying.
At that time, I was only a few weeks postpartum, and it reduced me to tears. Now, even thinking back on that story makes me emotional. Just the image of those babies—left without anyone to pick them up—strikes me deeply. Here I am, weighing whether or not to pick up my own child in hopes of getting her to sleep, and suddenly that feels wrong. While I believe in the importance of teaching self-soothing, I wrestle with the line between that and neglect.
So, what’s the solution?
My partner and I have been engaged in ongoing discussions about our sleep approach. The common advice is to let her cry it out, which we’ve attempted. However, it just doesn’t sit right with us.
Recently, I shared the orphanage story with him, and once again, I was overcome with emotion. This time, it may have been due to sleep deprivation rather than hormones, but the impact was the same. As a parent, one of my top priorities is to ensure my children know I will always be there for them. Some may argue that part of that involves teaching them to sleep independently. But when I hear my daughter cry in her room, my intuition tells me to comfort her.
After sharing my feelings with my partner, we came to a decision: we will pick her up. Perhaps when she’s older and I’ve had a chance to rest, we’ll reconsider the cry-it-out method. For now, our priority is to prevent her cries from escalating into distress. We won’t let a timer dictate when to check on her; instead, we’ll go to her when it feels right, providing reassurance that she is safe. If it means letting her fall asleep in my arms, then so be it.
While the prospect of never sleeping again seems daunting, I hold onto the hope that those babies in the orphanage eventually find loving homes, where they learn they are cared for and can trust someone will pick them up when needed.
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In summary, as parents, it’s essential to trust our instincts and make choices that feel right for our families. Each baby is different, and finding the balance between teaching independence and being there for them is a part of the journey.
Keyphrase: comforting your baby during sleep training
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