Imagine a scene in a lively bar where a woman named Sarah is enjoying a night out with her friends. She’s deeply engaged in conversation, laughter filling the air around her. Suddenly, a man named Jake slides in beside her, eager to introduce himself and offer her a drink. Despite her polite but firm responses—“I’m just here with my friends”—he continues to pry into her life, showing no signs of understanding her disinterest. The dismissive attitude persists until Sarah, exasperated, finally states, “I have a boyfriend.” Jake reluctantly retreats, hands raised in mock surrender, muttering, “It’s cool, it’s cool. I got it.”
This scenario, though frustrating, is unfortunately all too common. Many women find themselves resorting to the “boyfriend excuse” as a defense against persistent advances. While some men approach women with respect and humility, a troubling number dismiss boundaries and continue to pursue their desires without regard for women’s feelings or autonomy. This dynamic is rooted in a pervasive sense of entitlement, where women are seen as possessions rather than individuals with their own thoughts and desires.
The consequences of this mindset can be dire. We witness horrific acts, where men commit violence against women simply for rejecting their advances. A man might kill a woman on a train or attack his partner for leaving him. Such extremes are often fueled by a toxic belief in ownership—a belief that women exist to fulfill male desires.
This issue isn’t always manifested in violence; it often lurks in subtler forms, quietly embedded in our culture. Men are often socialized to believe they have rights over women, a notion that seeps into everyday interactions. Whether it’s the man who demands a woman smile, the one who catcalls her on the street, or the individual who assumes access to her body, these behaviors reinforce a sense of ownership that society largely ignores.
Women are frequently categorized in limiting ways: they are either the virgin or the whore, objects of desire or distractions. This dehumanization can be seen in practices that treat women as commodities—marriages that resemble transactions, or women being viewed as prizes in a competitive game. Even in the workplace and on social media, women who assert themselves are often met with hostility, as if their confidence is a threat to male authority.
The narrative continues when women are shamed for their choices, whether it’s how they dress or how they express themselves. The expectation that women should conform to certain standards of behavior—being polite, soft-spoken, and always agreeable—adds another layer of control, suggesting their primary role is to please others.
In relationships, this dynamic can manifest as pressure to engage sexually, with some men believing that love equates to compliance with their desires. They may use guilt to manipulate partners, disregarding their autonomy and needs. This entitlement can extend to interactions with younger women, where the gaze of older men often reduces them to mere objects of desire, ignoring their individuality and discomfort.
We hear the messages that imply women are responsible for male aggression, reinforcing harmful stereotypes and narratives. It’s a sentiment echoed in the phrase “boys will be boys,” which trivializes predatory behavior and places the onus on women to navigate a world rife with misogyny.
Change begins when we acknowledge that women are not property. We are not here to fulfill anyone’s expectations or desires. Our bodies, minds, and emotional labor are ours alone, and there is no place for entitlement in our interactions.
To effectively combat this pervasive issue, it’s crucial to recognize ownership in all its forms. Educate your children about respect and consent. Advocate for women’s voices to be heard without prejudice. By dismantling these harmful beliefs, we can create a society where women are valued as individuals rather than as possessions.
We need your help to shift this narrative. Support initiatives that empower women, and educate others on the importance of consent and respect in all interactions. Check out resources like American Pregnancy for further information on important topics like donor insemination or explore our post on home insemination with the BabyMaker kit to stay engaged.
Let’s work together to foster a culture of respect and equality. Women are not your possessions; we are individuals deserving of dignity and agency.