Trigger warning: Child loss
The details surrounding Ava’s tragic passing have remained private for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the shock of her loss has made it feel surreal to discuss. However, by sharing her story, I hope to raise awareness and ultimately save lives. Please, spread the word that drowning can occur in mere seconds.
On Sunday, April 22, everything began like any typical day. My partner, Mark, and I had attended a concert the previous night and slept in later than usual. Mark had errands to run, including picking up treats for our son Jake’s upcoming birthday. I stayed home with the kids, who were playing outside near the pool. Ava was not in the water; she would never venture into the pool without supervision.
I frequently went back and forth between the house—folding laundry and preparing lunch. I had ordered food delivery and decided to quickly make a bowl of Easy Mac for Ava. At 1:04 p.m., I texted Mark. I was inside for just a minute or two when Jake came in and asked me to come outside. I told him, “Sure, just give me a moment to finish this Easy Mac.”
His tone didn’t convey urgency; he didn’t understand the potential danger. How many times have we dismissed our children’s pleas for our attention, thinking we have time? I wish I could turn back the clock. When he asked again a minute later, I finally agreed and stepped outside—only to find Ava face down in the pool. My heart sank; I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing.
I pulled her out and immediately initiated CPR. When she started to vomit, I flipped her over and attempted the Heimlich maneuver. Realizing I needed assistance, I screamed for help. A neighbor swiftly jumped the fence and took over CPR while I called 9-1-1 at 1:09 p.m. Paramedics arrived, and we rushed Ava to the hospital. It felt like a nightmare, a living hell. I contacted Mark, and he met us at the hospital. We were frantic, praying as we waited. Then we heard the words, “someone call it.”
“Time of death, 1:38 p.m.”
In just 34 minutes, our little girl had gone from laughing and playing to gone forever. She hadn’t been swimming; somehow, she must have lost her balance, hit her head, and fallen into the water. At only 27 pounds, we learned she could drown in less than 30 seconds if she was unconscious. You may think this could never happen to you as you read Ava’s story, but it can.
The truth is, drowning can occur in an instant. Never leave children unsupervised around a pool. Don’t step away to use the restroom or grab snacks, believing you’ll only be gone for a moment. I felt assured Ava wouldn’t wander into the pool, but I was wrong.
Many drownings happen when children are not actively swimming. Please share this message of pool safety with friends and family. Help raise awareness so that others don’t endure the same heartbreak we have experienced. It is crucial to emphasize that even the most proficient swimmer can fall, get knocked unconscious, and drown. You can never be too cautious; always keep a watchful eye on children around water.
Ava was a vibrant little girl who loved all things beautiful—from her hair accessories to her dresses and shoes. Just the day before her passing, she had come into the bathroom and asked, “What are you doing, Mommy?” I replied, “Putting on my makeup.” She said, “Can I have some too?” I picked her up and applied a touch of makeup, and her face lit up with joy. Those simple moments are now memories I will never get to recreate. Not only did we lose Ava, but we lost the dreams we had for her future.
I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. It’s a nightmare from which I keep hoping to awaken, but reality tells me otherwise. I urge you to spread awareness about water safety. By sharing Ava’s story, I hope to prevent other parents from facing the same devastating loss and save lives in the process.
Remember, Ava didn’t drown because she couldn’t swim. She drowned because she was unsupervised for just a few minutes. Please make it clear to everyone that even if a child is an excellent swimmer, accidents can happen. You must NEVER leave children unattended near a pool, not even for a split second.
For more information on pregnancy and safety, visit this excellent resource: WHO Pregnancy Resources.
In closing, let’s work together to ensure that no parent has to experience the heartbreak we have endured.