When a friend is facing the challenges of a divorce, certain phrases can unintentionally add to their pain. Here’s a list of what to steer clear of, along with more supportive alternatives.
What to Avoid Saying
- “You can always go back to him.”
The thought of returning to someone who has caused so much heartache is not appealing. It’s essential to acknowledge that moving forward is often the healthier choice. - “I know someone who divorced and married five times!”
While that might be true, it often just leads to more legal fees and not necessarily happiness. Everyone’s journey is different. - “Look at your grandparents; they divorced and later remarried.”
True, but that doesn’t mean their relationship was ideal. Sometimes, it’s better to focus on what works for you rather than hold up examples that may not reflect true happiness. - “At least you have children; others don’t.”
While it’s true that having kids is a blessing, the grief of a divorce can feel compounded by the fear of not being able to provide a stable home for them. It’s important to validate those feelings instead of minimizing them.
Instead, Consider Saying
- “Take care of yourself first.”
Encourage your friend to focus on their own well-being. Self-care is crucial during such a tumultuous time. What brings them joy? How can they prioritize their own peace? - “Your kids will be okay.”
Remind them that they can be a strong, supportive figure for their children. A mom who takes time for herself is better equipped to nurture her kids. - “This is a tough journey. You’ll experience a rollercoaster of emotions.”
It’s important to recognize that fluctuating feelings are normal. Acknowledge that while it’s challenging, they are moving through it, gaining strength and insight along the way. - “Don’t hesitate to seek support.”
Encourage them to lean on friends and family who are genuinely there for them. It’s a valuable lesson in discovering true support systems during difficult times.
Remember, not everyone will be able to offer the support you need. It’s okay to let go of those who can’t handle the emotional weight of your journey. You’ll find others who can truly stand by you.
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Summary
When supporting a friend through a divorce, it’s crucial to choose words carefully. Avoid minimizing their feelings or offering comparisons, and instead focus on their well-being and encourage seeking genuine support.
Keyphrase: Supporting a friend through divorce
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