Updated: Dec. 27, 2018
Originally Published: July 22, 2018
Yesterday evening, we gathered for dinner at my mom’s house, an event I had been eagerly anticipating for days. It’s such a treat to enjoy a meal prepared by someone else for a change. On our way there, I reminded my kids about proper table manners; even though they’re older, they still need a few prompts about how to act as guests.
As soon as we sat down to enjoy the meal, the conversation veered into bathroom habits. I shot them my best “you better stop talking” glare, but they completely ignored it, as if to say, “Nice try, Mom.” So, I resorted to verbal warnings, telling them to cut it out. This tactic lasted a whopping two minutes before they resumed their antics. Next thing I knew, my youngest was rolling around on the floor, asking about dessert like a little wildling. That was my breaking point, and I ended up raising my voice — and wouldn’t you know it, they finally paid attention.
My kids often question why I raise my voice so frequently. When we’re out in public, I have no qualms about amplifying my tone to counteract the chaos caused by my three children. If they’re going to misbehave, I’m going to call them out, and I don’t care if it embarrasses them.
It baffles me why parents feel the need to lose their composure to be taken seriously. It seems that partners and kids only listen when we’re about to explode. So much frustration could be avoided — not to mention sore throats and lost screen time — if they just did what they were asked the first time. Or if they’d simply stop misbehaving upon receiving “the look.”
I can’t comprehend why warnings fall flat, but they do. We find ourselves shouting to be seen and heard, because we refuse to be ignored. Moms repeat ourselves endlessly, wondering how our families haven’t figured out how to avoid triggering the yelling, screaming, and consequences by now. Life would be much simpler if they didn’t send us from calm to furious in seconds — it seems so straightforward.
No amount of confiscated electronics or snacks seems to work. It doesn’t matter how many time-outs they get; they either forget or don’t care enough to change their behavior. Just a few weeks ago at Target, I had a meltdown because my kids were acting out. I told them it seemed like they enjoyed it when I lost my cool and took things away from them. If they didn’t, surely they’d behave better to end this cycle of chaos.
They know that regardless of my tone, I always come out on top in the end. I don’t understand why they push me to my limits, as it only complicates matters for everyone involved. After 15 years of parenting, I hold out hope that one day they’ll have an epiphany and recognize that life could be so much smoother if they just followed the rules.
For now, I’ll be here, losing my voice while I wait for that moment. If you want more information on parenting and related topics, check out our post about couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination and learn about fertility boosters for men as an authority on this subject. For those experiencing pregnancy challenges, this resource on IVF is excellent.
In summary, the struggle of being a parent often feels like a battle to be heard. Despite our efforts to communicate calmly, it seems that only when we reach our breaking point do our kids finally listen. With the hope that they will soon learn to follow directions without the drama, we continue to navigate the ups and downs of family life.
Keyphrase: parenting struggles
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