If current trends in family size continue, the middle child may soon become a relic of the past. As anyone familiar with the financial burdens of parenthood can attest, raising children is incredibly costly. While this has always been the case, Millennials, the first generation projected to face greater financial difficulties than their parents, are feeling the strain more than ever, which is influencing their decisions on family size.
Enter the extinction of the middle child. Sorry, poor Jan Brady.
August 12 marks Middle Child Day, yet as noted in a piece for The Cut, this celebration may soon be irrelevant as American families increasingly opt for smaller numbers of children—often one or two. According to Pew Research, in 1976, “the average mother at the end of her childbearing years had given birth to more than three children.” At that time, nearly 40 percent of mothers aged 40-44 had four or more children, while 23 percent had three, 22 percent had two, and 10 percent had just one. Fast forward to today, and the landscape has shifted dramatically; around two-thirds of mothers now stop at two children or even one, making middle children increasingly scarce.
From personal observation, this trend appears to hold true. Most of my friends from high school have one or two children—or none at all. Many are just now getting married (I’m 36), and several others are delaying parenthood due to soaring costs associated with housing, education, and childcare. I found a middle ground as a mom who had children relatively young but chose to stop at two. My husband and I longed for a third or fourth child, but financial constraints influenced our decision to keep our family small.
The decline in middle children means society may miss out on their unique contributions. As the essay mentions, “Middle Child Syndrome” exists, unlike “Oldest Child Syndrome” or “Youngest Child Syndrome.” Middle children often bring special qualities such as peacemaking and a desire to stand out—traits that can benefit everyone around them. Psychologist Catherine Salmon, an authority on the topic, notes that middle children are often underrated but may be more likely to effect change in the world than their siblings.
Of course, the idea of birth order influencing personality traits could be overstated. Characteristics typically associated with middle children aren’t exclusive to them, and parenting style likely plays a larger role than birth order. As the oldest sibling, I often received the bulk of parental praise while my parents nurtured the quiet strengths of my middle sibling, and I watched our youngest brother shine in sports. It couldn’t have been easy for him growing up between two attention-seeking siblings.
While this research may not lead my generation to have more children to preserve the middle child, it does prompt interesting reflections on a future that may lack those in-between kids. Recognizing the rarity of these unique individuals might encourage parents to appreciate them more. Take that, Marcia!
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In summary, the trend of smaller families is leading to the decline of the middle child, which could have broader implications for societal dynamics. While the qualities often attributed to middle children are not exclusive, their unique perspectives may soon be missed.
Keyphrase: Middle child extinction
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