Lately, I’ve been engrossed in the series “The Americans,” a thrilling mix of espionage and 80s nostalgia that has left me feeling a bit paranoid. If someone were to listen in on our household, they might think we’ve vanished altogether. Our family often finds itself enveloped in silence, reminiscent of a distracted grandmother losing her train of thought or perhaps a group of sleepyheads.
Sure, we have our raucous moments—shouting over the “Moana” soundtrack, the chaotic symphony of LeapFrog toys activating at once, or the constant bickering between my twins. However, the most meaningful exchanges often happen in the quiet.
My eldest, Jake, is almost entirely nonverbal. He communicates through a combination of a speech device, flashcards, sign language, and expressive gestures. Watching him communicate resembles a ballet performance—there’s always an anticipation of the final reveal. Yet, when the day wears on and he’s exhausted from his efforts, we simplify things. We play a game with my hands:
“Jake, do you want Cheerios (left hand) or raisins (right hand)?” He points to the left. “Great! Now, do you want to read Curious George after your snack (left hand) or Madeline (right hand)?” He munches on a Cheerios, pauses, and taps my right hand. It’s quick, straightforward, and resembles a playful duel. While it may not be the optimal way for him to express himself, it certainly gets the job done.
In contrast, my twins’ silences are cause for alarm. If the house falls too quiet and they’re out of sight, I know trouble is brewing—something that will leave the carpet or walls in disarray. Their secret language—twin speak—plays out right before my eyes, almost always involving some plot against household order or a plan to give our dog a haircut. It’s a frequency only they can tune into, and I often find myself waving my hands in front of them, as if trying to clear away a fog.
My husband and I share our own silent communication. At 7:30 p.m., when bedtime should be underway, and everyone’s still in their play clothes begging for dessert, a simple nod from him while I say no becomes crucial. In those moments, eye contact is everything. Together, we handle the chaos; apart, it’s a struggle.
This is our family’s unique rhythm. For us, “normal” is a blend of noise and silence, where the most significant moments often occur without a single word spoken. It’s a language only those living this experience can truly understand. It’s vital to recognize that just because something is left unsaid, doesn’t mean it’s unexpressed.
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In summary, our family thrives in a unique blend of silence and noise, with communication that transcends spoken language.
Keyphrase: Nonverbal communication in children
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