Recently, I stumbled upon a stunning image shared by a friend on social media. It featured a crystal-clear glass brimming with a rich, vibrant red wine, beautifully set against her elegant granite countertop. The wine appeared to glow, as if illuminated from within, and I could almost taste it. My friend, who is a talented chef, likely chose an exquisite Italian vintage. Having had a particularly challenging day filled with work demands, an event I’m planning, and little sleep with my partner away, I envied her moment of relaxation. She, too, juggles responsibilities, raising three lively kids while volunteering and teaching cooking classes. Her caption simply read: “Deserved.”
That one word struck me. While I understood the sentiment behind it, it made me uneasy. Why do we, as women, feel compelled to justify our pleasures and say we deserve them? Why is there an inherent need to earn our moments of indulgence?
I recognize my friend’s intention was to share her well-earned moment of tranquility. She is a powerhouse and embodies strength and activism. Yet, that word “deserved” resonated differently with me. It highlighted a pervasive societal expectation that women must earn their enjoyment, as if it were a privilege rather than a right.
Women have been conditioned to believe what we do and do not deserve. We are told that wearing certain clothing invites unwanted attention or that we must work harder for equal pay simply because of our gender. We hear narratives that suggest we only deserve a reward after meeting various benchmarks, whether it be after a year of dating or laboring through daily responsibilities.
This notion extends into our personal lives, where many women express gratitude to their partners for “allowing” them a moment of self-care. Statements like, “Thanks to my husband for taking the kids so I could unwind” subtly reinforce the idea that we owe something for taking care of ourselves. Basic activities like showering, enjoying a meal, or simply spending a few moments alone have been reframed as luxuries that must be earned.
The term “self-care” further complicates matters, implying that we can only focus on our needs if we’ve sufficiently fulfilled our obligations. In contrast, I’ve rarely seen men feel the need to declare their leisure activities as “deserved.” They often share their adventures without justification, basking in the freedom to enjoy life.
Is it so wrong for a woman to want a glass of wine just because she feels like it? Must we always justify our desire for relaxation or personal time?
What women truly deserve are fundamental rights: equal pay, comprehensive maternity leave, reliable childcare, and access to quality healthcare. We deserve the agency over our bodies and safety in every environment. And yes, we deserve to indulge in a glass of wine whenever we choose without feeling obligated to earn it. Our desires are valid simply because we exist.
Let’s embrace the truth that we are enough, and we don’t need to justify our choices or actions.
For more insights on this topic, check out our blog post on fertility boosters for men. Additionally, for couples navigating their fertility journey, the resource available at Couples Fertility Journey can provide valuable guidance. If you’re looking for information on in vitro fertilization, the Mayo Clinic’s page at In Vitro Fertilization is an excellent resource.
In summary, let’s stop waiting for permission to enjoy our lives. Whether it’s a glass of wine or a quiet moment to ourselves, we deserve it all — simply because we are women.
Keyphrase: women deserving pleasure
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