“Stop tossing rocks!” my partner and I shouted at our son during our vacation at a serene mountain lake. His brother was busy fishing, but our son’s patience had waned. Bored with holding a fishing rod, he opted for a more exciting activity: launching rocks into the water to observe the ripples.
Repeatedly, we warned him, “Don’t make me come over there.” Yet he continued, plucking stones from the shore we had told him to avoid, letting them slip from his hands with satisfying splashes—plunk, plunk, plunk. Eventually, we sent him inside to watch TV. We all knew that throwing rocks is one of the most natural impulses of childhood—a simple joy that creates ripples of wonder. However, there were fishermen nearby, and certain behaviors, we believed, must be curbed.
In the grand scheme of parenting, this incident may seem trivial. Yet, Dara Horn, author of The Immense Pressure of Children to Behave as Tiny Adults, suggests that we often force children to conform to an adult’s idea of acceptable behavior. We strive to “normalize” them, taking away their essence in the process.
The Classroom Environment
Consider the classroom environment. We cram children into small, cinderblock rooms, 30 at a time, for hours on end, often neglecting their need for physical activity. It’s no surprise when some exhibit disruptive behaviors like fighting or refusing to participate. A study from 2008 revealed that even a brief 20-minute walk in the park can reduce ADHD symptoms by 20%.
Moreover, children are inundated with standardized tests, a staggering 112 from kindergarten through 12th grade, as reported by The Washington Post. This averages to about eight tests annually, consuming 20-25 hours of class time. While previous generations might recall a yearly or bi-yearly test, the implementation of No Child Left Behind in 2002 and Obama’s Race to the Top reforms in 2012 led to an avalanche of bubble sheets. Such tests are designed for adults, not young children who should be exploring, engaging, and simply being kids.
Despite the necessity of education and evaluation, we must question our methods. We stifle individuality—kids who struggle with standardized tests because they are lost in a book or who disrupt lessons with too many questions. We send these children through a network of counselors and special education services, and even resort to medication.
Redirecting Energy
What does this achieve? How does it foster a civilized society?
In the case of my rock-throwing son, we could have redirected his energy. Instead of reprimanding him, we might have suggested a different activity, like throwing rocks at a target further away or even sorting through interesting finds. We could have embraced his curiosity and preserved the joy of a child in nature, rather than confining him to a screen indoors. This is what I want for my children and all children, as I believe it enriches our world.
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Summary
The challenges of modern parenting often lead us to inadvertently suppress our children’s natural impulses. By enforcing rigid conformity in schools and daily life, we risk diminishing their individuality and creativity. Embracing their innate curiosity and redirecting their energy can foster a more fulfilling childhood experience.
Keyphrase: Unknowingly hindering children’s growth
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