A Note to the Individual Who Said, ‘You’re Just Like Your Mother, Pathetic’

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Last week, those six words landed like a heavy blow, reverberating in my mind for days. Isn’t it remarkable how a single comment can completely alter your perspective?

I grew up with my single mother, as my parents were never married. We had our share of hardships, frequently relocating and often living in less-than-ideal conditions. Thankfully, we had the support of family — my grandparents, aunts, and uncles — reflecting the truth in the saying, “it takes a village.” However, during much of my upbringing, we relied on government assistance and faced the stigma of being the family that had almost nothing. I vividly remember the embarrassment of using our “different money” at checkout, feeling like the odd one out among peers from more conventional families.

I witnessed my mother’s struggles firsthand, her resilience tested repeatedly. I can still picture the painful moments when she was hurt, both physically and emotionally, far too many times to count. Sixteen years ago, I held her in the hospital as we faced the tragic reality of my stepfather’s suicide — a bullet that shattered our lives forever.

There were moments when I wished for a different childhood, yearning for a life without the constant struggle. I wanted to erase the haunting memories that left scars on my heart. But as I matured, I came to appreciate the life I lived and everything it taught me.

I am grateful for the hardships; they instilled in me a profound appreciation for what I have. The pain and adversity cultivated empathy within me and strengthened my faith. Those challenging experiences ignited a desire to dream big and refuse to settle for less. I learned that I would need to fight for every penny I earned because I had no safety net. Instead of letting adversity defeat me, I transformed my vulnerabilities into strengths.

So, to the person who called me “pathetic,” let me clarify: my mother is not pathetic. She remains a symbol of endurance, standing strong through adversity with my best interests at heart. I owe my achievements, work ethic, and aspirations to her. Regardless of our past, we must honor our mothers — these incredible women who do their utmost for their children. They may not be perfect, but they are far from pathetic.

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