Recently, I decided to purchase a tankini online. With a vacation planned for late May, I was eager to embrace something new and bold. When the box arrived yesterday morning, my partner’s enthusiasm was infectious. I had hoped the top would meet the high-waisted bottom to minimize the skin exposed, but it was clear from his expression that he wished for the opposite.
After trying it on, I turned to him for his opinion. “Don’t dismiss it before you see yourself in the mirror! I truly believe you’ll love it; it’s the best swimsuit I’ve ever seen on you!” he exclaimed. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into our cluttered spare room, where the only full-length mirror resides amidst a sea of unopened boxes.
As anticipated, a few inches of my round belly were visible, and a small purple scar peeked above the waistband. This C-section scar, positioned higher than a typical bikini line, was the result of an emergency delivery after 40 hours of labor for my first child. My second son also made his entrance in the same way. The scar is a permanent reminder of those experiences, crooked and unmistakable.
Yet, despite the reality of my body, I snapped a quick mirror selfie and texted it to two close friends, declaring, “I’m keeping it.” When I emerged from the room, my partner’s grin mirrored my own; it was clear this swimsuit was here to stay.
However, the joy I felt was tinged with doubt as I asked him, “Are you sure I shouldn’t cover my stomach? What about my scar?” His response was emphatic: “You mean the mark that shows you brought our children into the world? Katie, you deserve to soak up the sun just like everyone else.”
And he’s right. I have every right to enjoy the warmth of the sun on my skin, just like every BODY around me. I deserve to feel the ocean breeze against my skin, to wear clothing that makes me comfortable during steamy Southern summers, and to relish in carefree moments at the beach. I deserve to sip fruity cocktails at the swim-up bar and steal kisses with my partner in the pool under the midday sun.
It’s time to dismiss all negative perceptions of my body and embrace life fully. I am more than a collection of flaws; I am a person deserving of joy and respect. My partner understands every inch of me, and I want to wear the swimsuit he loves to affirm that his opinion holds more weight than that of any stranger.
He knows about my struggles with diets, workouts, and late-night cravings for comfort food. He loves me for who I am, fat and all. His love enhances my happiness but doesn’t define my worth. I would still be deserving of joy and freedom, even if no one else wanted to see my body.
I am 33 years old, and for far too many summers, I have tried to hide my body. My previous swimsuits sent a message of insecurity, communicating that I felt inadequate. But no more. I refuse to spend any more summers in clothing that makes me uncomfortable or swimsuits that feel outdated.
I have many summers ahead of me, and I am determined to enjoy them without shame. I deserve to feel the sun on my skin, just like you, dear reader. It’s time to embrace ourselves fully and step into the sunlight together.
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In summary
It’s time to step out into the sun without hiding. We deserve to enjoy our bodies, no matter their shape or size. Let’s celebrate our uniqueness together.
Keyphrase: body positivity and self-acceptance
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