Like many sensible individuals, I consider myself a coffee enthusiast, and yes, I proudly embrace my coffee snobbery. Feel free to roll your eyes or chuckle at my expense. Go ahead, indulge in your sugary coffee concoctions. I’ll be here, savoring my meticulously brewed cup of Ethiopian Yirgacheffe, inhaling the rich, earthy aroma reminiscent of an African sunrise.
Before you throw your old coffee cup my way, let me clarify. Being a coffee snob doesn’t imply that I’m a know-it-all, nor do I judge others for their coffee choices. My coffee journey began with a humble Mr. Coffee brewing a can of Folgers at 6:30 a.m. every day. My mother needed her robust black coffee to function, and when I dared to taste it, it felt like I was consuming something akin to battery acid. I couldn’t fathom why anyone would subject themselves to such bitterness regularly.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s, after a particularly wild night, that I had my first full cup of coffee. A colleague handed me a chipped mug and directed me to the coffee maker. That first sip was rough, but it jolted me out of my fog. By the end of the day, I was buzzing with energy and hooked on coffee. A few months later, my palate began to crave something better than the bland brews I had been consuming. If I was going to drink coffee daily, I decided I might as well enjoy the good stuff. That’s how my coffee obsession began.
I don’t own fancy gadgets or subscribe to coffee magazines, but I do care about the origin of my beans and their roasting process. I may not speak in an Italian accent while describing my brew, but I do appreciate a good cup of coffee. It makes me feel cared for, engaged, and for a few hours, like I can conquer the world. If that makes me a snob, I’m more than okay with it. Curious if you might be a coffee snob too? If you find yourself nodding in agreement with the following points, consider yourself welcomed into the fold:
- I won’t settle for mediocre coffee. Even when caffeine withdrawal hits hard, I refuse to drink subpar coffee. At home, I patiently wait for my perfect cup (see No. 2). When I’m out for a coffee drink, I can wait for hours if it means getting a quality brew. I’d rather endure caffeine withdrawals than settle for anything less than exceptional.
- Brewing coffee at home is a cherished ritual. I’m an AeroPress devotee, which means I carefully boil water, assemble my equipment, measure the grounds, and follow the process to create the perfect cup. I’ve got a few favorite mugs that my family knows to leave untouched. I sweeten it just right, add a splash of milk, and take a moment to enjoy my blissful cup. (Full disclosure: my partner often makes my coffee, and it tastes even better when he does.)
- Destination coffee is a real thing. I’m willing to go out of my way to visit a beloved café. We coffee aficionados are often quite social. Finding a café that offers delicious coffee, a skilled barista, and a welcoming atmosphere is worth the extra drive. Plus, it’s rewarding when the barista knows your order without needing to ask.
- I understand the coffee lingo. I can distinguish between a latte and a cappuccino, and I know that the crema on a quality espresso has nothing to do with cream. That said, I still enjoy a simple, high-quality brewed coffee. No Folgers, please.
- I don’t buy pre-ground coffee. After just a few days, coffee loses its freshness, no matter how well it’s stored. Since I don’t have a high-end grinder, I ask the barista to grind just enough beans for five days. If you’re buying beans at the grocery store, many locations have grinders available in-store.
- Starbucks deserves respect. While my coffee preferences have matured, I owe a debt of gratitude to Starbucks for introducing me to the world of exceptional espresso. The same year I fell in love with coffee, a Starbucks opened near me, and it transformed my appreciation for the beverage. Anyone who claims they don’t enjoy a Pumpkin Spice Latte or a White Peppermint Mocha is likely not being entirely truthful.
So yes, I proudly identify as a coffee snob, and I know I’m not alone in this. If you’re curious about other aspects of parenting and family life, check out our post on artificial insemination kits, which could be a helpful resource. For more insights on home insemination, visit this excellent resource. And for deeper dives into various family topics, you can explore Modern Family Blog.
In summary, if you resonate with these signs, you might just be a coffee aficionado like me.