Nearly a decade ago, a dog changed my life forever. At 20, just a year after losing my father, I stumbled into a local wine shop where I encountered an adorable cocker spaniel puppy. The owner, also a dog breeder, placed a tiny red and white spaniel in my arms, her nose sprinkled with freckles. In that moment, she became mine. I named her Bella, inspired by the spunky character from my favorite book series.
With Bella by my side, I found purpose again. I had someone who relied on me for everything, which pulled me out of my grief and into a new routine. She was my light, my joy.
As time passed, Bella became an integral part of my life. When she was two, I met my partner, who became a loving figure in Bella’s life. But as she turned four, health issues began to emerge. Purebred cocker spaniels can suffer from a range of ailments, and Bella was no exception. From skin irritations to ear infections, we visited the vet often, but we did so with love and care because she was our little girl.
However, Bella wasn’t without her challenges. She exhibited signs of cocker rage, a condition where spaniels can have unexpected aggressive outbursts. We were hesitant to accept this reality and often brushed it off, blinded by our affection for her.
When I became pregnant with my daughter, Lily, worries crept in. We feared that Lily might develop allergies or phobias due to Bella’s unpredictable behavior. We also dreaded the thought of how Bella would react to a baby in the house.
During my maternity leave, Bella and I enjoyed a special bond. She would curl up next to my belly, feeling the kicks from Lily. After Lily was born, Bella adapted well, lying beside us during feedings and accompanying us on walks.
But when Lily started to crawl, Bella began to distance herself. She shied away from Lily’s playful grabs and squeals, and while Lily adored her, Bella’s discomfort grew. “Doggy” was one of Lily’s first words, but the joy was short-lived.
Then, just three days ago, everything changed. Bella was lounging on the couch with her dad while Lily scratched her belly when, without warning, Bella lunged. She snapped at Lily three times, and on the third attempt, she bit down. It was a moment of sheer horror as her dad had to intervene to free Lily from Bella’s grip, leaving my little girl with a wound and a scar of fear.
Now, Lily is recovering, but the trauma lingers. She occasionally mentions, “Bella bit me,” and tears well up in her eyes. The emotional impact runs deeper than any physical mark. Thankfully, she still enjoys playing with dogs, a relief amidst the chaos.
Tomorrow, Bella will be rehomed. She’s going to live with my mother in a peaceful beach town on Vancouver Island, where she’ll enjoy the fresh air and homemade treats, away from the unpredictability of children. We’re fortunate to have this opportunity because it is the only way for Bella to find happiness and safety. Once, she saved my life; now it’s my turn to save hers.
I remind myself of this truth constantly, but it doesn’t lessen the pain. Each time I see memories of Lily and Bella together, I feel the weight of guilt. I long for those peaceful days when our family felt whole.
Tomorrow will mark a new beginning. Parenthood often requires tough choices, and this one is for both my girls. Lily will go to daycare, while my mother will bring Bella to her new home. I hope both will find joy in their new lives, and gradually, I will find solace too.
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Summary:
After a life-altering experience with Bella, her cocker spaniel, the author faces the heartbreaking decision to rehome her dog due to an aggressive incident involving her daughter, Lily. Despite the emotional turmoil, the author recognizes that this choice is necessary for the safety and happiness of both Bella and Lily. As they navigate this new chapter, the importance of tough parental sacrifices shines through.
Keyphrase: dog rehoming for child safety
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]