My son, Liam, is an eleven-year-old transgender boy who came out to us a year ago. He socially transitioned almost immediately. Here are some frequently asked questions regarding his journey and our experiences as a family.
How can you be sure it’s not just a “phase”?
Liam expressed his identity as a boy in numerous ways long before we understood the term transgender. He consistently communicated that he did not identify as a girl, demonstrating clear preferences in his play, clothing, and interactions over several years.
How does the school handle his transition?
When I informed Liam’s teacher about his transgender identity, the initial response was, “I want to support him, but I must protect the other students.” Fortunately, we live in a progressive area where laws exist to protect transgender individuals. Our school district accommodated his wish to attend a different school where he could be non-disclosing. He has flourished in this new environment, supported by a caring teacher and principal, while his peers remain unaware of his transgender status. However, he has overheard some troubling conversations among classmates, which have been distressing. Thankfully, he has a wonderful therapist to help him process these experiences.
What happens when he reaches puberty?
Liam sees a therapist and a pediatrician, as well as a doctor who specializes in transgender youth, to assess what interventions might be necessary for his well-being. As he hasn’t yet reached Tanner stage two of puberty, he hasn’t needed hormone blockers at this time.
Tanner stage what?
Tanner stages are physiological benchmarks of development that can be assessed visually or through blood tests. Most transgender youth start using puberty blockers around Tanner stage two.
Will you force him to take hormones?
We will collaborate with medical professionals who know Liam best to determine his needs and desires. Transitioning can involve social changes like adopting a new name and pronouns, as well as medical steps such as hormone therapy. For many trans teens, this includes the use of puberty blockers initially and potentially cross hormones like testosterone or estrogen later on.
What if he changes his mind?
If that happens, we will continue to support him wherever his journey takes him. As informed parents, we understand that “de-transitioning” is quite rare, and we remain committed to his well-being.
How have friends and family reacted?
The support from our family and friends has been overwhelming and encouraging. Many older relatives have shown a keen interest in learning about transgender issues, which has been heartwarming. While a few individuals have expressed skepticism, we recognize that their opinions are their own.
Is he gay?
Liam is still exploring his sexual orientation. He could identify as heterosexual, homosexual, or pansexual. Gender and sexuality are distinct aspects of identity, and we will support him unconditionally as he discovers who he is.
Why keep his transgender status private?
We don’t keep it a secret; we maintain his privacy. Liam is a boy, and details about his biological makeup are his to share when and with whom he chooses. Everyone has personal information they keep private, and it’s essential to respect the privacy of our children. As Zeke Smith eloquently stated, many transgender individuals feel that sharing their gender history can lead to being seen less authentically. It’s crucial to allow them the autonomy to disclose this information on their own terms.
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In summary, our journey as a family supporting a transgender child has been filled with questions and learning opportunities. We prioritize Liam’s well-being and identity while fostering an environment of acceptance, understanding, and love.
Keyphrase: transgender youth support
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