“Mom, this kid called me a freak and said I’m a loser!”
As a parent, I dreaded hearing those words from my son. Recently, he had been unusually irritable, snapping at us and getting into conflicts with his siblings. It was clear he was struggling.
At just 9 years old, he has a unique personality—he’s introspective and often feels different from his peers. While other kids rush to the playground, he finds joy in helping his teacher or spending time with family. He hasn’t yet established a close friendship and is quite cautious about opening up to new people.
When we encouraged him to engage with more kids at school, he faced rejection instead.
“Leave us alone, we don’t want to play with you!”
“Why not?” he asked, feeling confused.
“Because you’re weird and a loser!”
My heart shattered at his pain. My first instinct was to protect him fiercely and confront the bully. But after taking a moment to breathe and gather my thoughts, I realized this was a critical opportunity for growth.
Building Self-Confidence and Resilience
The first step was addressing my son’s self-esteem. With rising rates of childhood depression and low self-worth, we needed to ensure he felt cherished and valued. It was essential for us to communicate that he is loved, unique, and strong.
You’re Not Alone
Regardless of whether a child is outgoing or reserved, it’s important to assure them that they’re not isolated in their feelings. My son tends to keep his feelings bottled up, and he needed reassurance that our support was unwavering.
Celebrate Your Uniqueness
As I imagined him alone during recess, my heart ached. He needed to recognize his incredible qualities, even if others didn’t see them. We emphasized that being different doesn’t equate to being “weird” or a “loser.”
Empowerment through Control
Words can wound deeply, but it’s critical for kids to understand that they don’t have to let those words define them. We discussed whether he would allow this “mean kid” to dictate how he sees himself, reminding him of all the wonderful attributes he possesses. Building self-confidence is paramount, and I wanted him to be proud of who he is.
Practice Gratitude
When self-doubt creeps in, it can be helpful to list the positives in life. We encouraged my son to identify ten things he’s grateful for and ten qualities he values in himself. Reinforcing his self-worth was imperative.
Creating a Strategy
Once he was in a better mindset, we devised a plan for how to approach the situation. It’s common to want to retaliate or avoid confrontation entirely when hurt, but we wanted him to stand up for himself constructively.
We decided that rather than lashing out, he would ask the “mean kid” questions.
“Why do you think I’m weird? What makes it okay to call me names? Does it make you feel better to put me down?” Engaging her in this way might prompt reflection and discourage future bullying. More importantly, it would empower my son to assert himself.
With a clear mission in mind, he prepared to confront the bully. We were uncertain about the outcome, but we felt confident in our approach to instill strength and confidence in our child.
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Summary
This article discusses a parent’s experience dealing with their child being bullied by a peer. It emphasizes the importance of building self-esteem, encouraging gratitude, and creating a constructive plan for addressing bullying. Ultimately, the focus is on empowering children to stand up for themselves while ensuring they know they are loved and unique.
Keyphrase: Child Bullying Support
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