Updated: April 4, 2020
Originally Published: April 11, 2018
I was lucky to have a close friend, Sarah, who was also expecting around the same time as I was. Sarah was the kind of friend who dove deep into research on every topic, which relieved me of the stress of making critical choices as a new mom. While I lounged around indulging in reruns of classic sitcoms, Sarah tackled everything from selecting a doctor to choosing baby gear.
When it came to picking an OB-GYN, Sarah meticulously reviewed online testimonials and evaluated local NICU facilities linked to each doctor before making her choice. I simply requested her doctor’s contact information and booked my appointment for the same week.
As for selecting a stroller, Sarah attended a new parents’ expo, where she tried out different models, compared them against safety standards, and even approached strangers with strollers to ask for their opinions. I simply copied her choice onto my registry.
When it came to diapers, Sarah signed up for discount deals, compared disposable and cloth options on reliable parenting sites, and might have even conducted her own tests.
So, when it was time to find a birthing class, I leaned on her recommendations yet again. However, I neglected to consider that this would be one of the few areas where our viewpoints diverged. While Sarah was keen on natural childbirth techniques—including hypnobirthing—I secretly hoped for a way to avoid being in the delivery room altogether.
The class was structured over six weeks, meeting once a week, and was led by a doula. This should have been a red flag for me. I prefer straightforward information; I didn’t need art history lessons on childbirth. No one in the throes of labor thinks, “This contraction reminds me of that ancient painting!”
Let me be clear: I have immense respect for doulas and their unwavering support of women during labor. They offer various pain relief techniques, from breathing exercises to massage. However, I couldn’t justify the expense, nor did I want someone else in the room discussing techniques with me while I was in such a vulnerable state.
During our first class, we were asked to remove our shoes and sit on cushions scattered around the room. Couples appeared excited, eager to learn about this monumental life event. When it was my turn to share my name, due date, and biggest fear, I found myself at odds with the other women. While most expressed anxiety over potential medication use during labor, I stated my fear of losing my baby due to my difficult journey to conceive. My answer didn’t earn me any popularity points.
After that, we were separated by gender. My husband, Tom, looked visibly distressed at the thought of being apart. “If they make us do trust falls, I’m out,” he whispered.
We then discussed the gender of our babies (if known), where we planned to deliver, and our birthing plans. The other women had detailed plans outlining their preferences for the birthing experience, while I simply stated, “Get the baby out.” Not surprisingly, my straightforwardness didn’t earn me any accolades in the group.
Despite my lack of enthusiasm, my doctor appreciated my no-nonsense approach. She thanked me for being flexible and aware of the unpredictable nature of childbirth. Unfortunately, I was perceived as the “one with no plan” in class.
When reunited with our partners, the instructor demonstrated labor by breathing in exaggerated rhythms and assuming various positions. The demonstration felt awkward and overly drawn out, leaving us unsure whether to laugh or feel uncomfortable.
Following this, we were treated to an extensive lecture on placentas, with suggestions that ranged from making art out of them to consuming them in capsule form. I couldn’t help but imagine my mother-in-law at Thanksgiving, asking about the secret ingredient in my stuffing!
Next, we watched a video showcasing three women giving birth, all accompanied by soothing music. The women appeared tranquil and serene, leading me to quip to Tom, “Maybe we just need a flutist instead of a doula.” My humor didn’t go over well.
Class two was no better, as we delved deeper into placental arts and crafts, including placenta jewelry and even a teddy bear made from it! With each discussion, my patience wore thin. I kept wishing someone would just tell me the essentials. Instead, my husband and I left that class perplexed as to why others were so captivated by these tangents.
After a bout of vertigo kept me from the third class, I learned later that we had missed vital information on inducing labor. The remedies shared were far from appealing while I lay in bed feeling miserable.
By the time the fourth class arrived, Tom and I exchanged a glance and simultaneously asked, “Do we really want to go?” The answer was a resounding “Not really.” We opted for pizza and a night of TV instead, never looking back.
Later, I found a concise DVD that covered everything we needed to know about labor, and I regretted not choosing it sooner. For just twenty dollars, it provided more valuable insights than the five hundred I spent on the class.
Ironically, I ultimately never went into labor. I was diagnosed with cholestasis, necessitating a scheduled C-section at 37 weeks. My son spent a week in the NICU but is now a happy, healthy six-year-old.
The key takeaway? Everyone has differing views on childbirth and the right approach for each individual. Ultimately, you must determine what feels best for you. While Sarah had a successful delivery with her own set of challenges, I have no plans to sample her placenta recipes anytime soon.
In conclusion, navigating the world of pregnancy can be overwhelming, but remember to trust your instincts and seek the resources that resonate with you, such as those found in this excellent resource for information on pregnancy and home insemination from Johns Hopkins. And if you’re considering options for getting pregnant, check out Make a Mom’s fertility supplements for additional support on your journey.
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