Financial Strain is Impacting My Marriage

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Updated: May 27, 2020
Originally Published: April 9, 2018

When my partner and I welcomed our first child, we found ourselves facing the onset of the 2007 economic downturn. Like many families, my partner lost his job, and the collapse of the housing market meant that our newly acquired co-op apartment had lost significant value. Selling it would have left us in debt instead of providing any profit.

During those challenging years, we turned to public assistance and Medicaid, accumulating credit card debt and relying on family support to get by. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. I frequently reminded myself of our blessings—our health, a roof over our heads, and enough food to eat.

But let’s be honest: financial stress is incredibly taxing. It chips away at your spirit and induces feelings of desperation and isolation. It can also strain a marriage significantly.

Managing finances as a couple can be challenging in itself. Sharing a bank account often brings about discomfort, and making collaborative financial decisions can lead to disagreements. Each partner has different priorities, and when finances are tight, tensions can escalate, leading to conflict.

Eventually, my partner and I emerged from those years of unemployment and financial insecurity. He found a job, my income increased, and we managed to eliminate our debt a few years ago. However, even now, we live paycheck to paycheck, and the fear of job loss still looms over us. I often have nightmares about it, as our financial situation remains a constant source of anxiety.

The challenge lies in the fact that my partner doesn’t always feel the weight of that stress. He goes to work, does his best, and returns home without the same level of concern about our financial future that I have. To help us stay on track, I downloaded a budgeting app to monitor our spending closely. I keep a mental tally of our expenses, ensuring we never exceed our means.

While my partner is generally responsible with money, he doesn’t fully grasp the effort it takes to manage our household finances. He doesn’t seem to consider future planning, retirement, or saving for our children’s education. I encouraged him to download the budget app I use, but that hasn’t happened yet.

Consequently, I often feel alone in my worries, constantly anxious about our finances and the possibility of slipping back into debt. I feel like I lack a partner in this struggle, as he appears to be disconnected from the financial realities we face.

I don’t blame him entirely for this disconnect; I understand he finds financial topics overwhelming. Yet, I can’t help but feel a deep resentment about it.

Do I believe this situation is permanent? I hold onto some hope. Perhaps one day we will be financially secure enough to eliminate the need for strict budgeting. Maybe we’ll even take family vacations without worry. However, I recognize that financial stress will likely always be a part of our lives, and until we find a way to tackle it together, it will continue to place strain on our marriage. And I truly despise that.

If you’re navigating similar challenges, consider exploring resources like the Cleveland Clinic, which offers excellent information on home insemination and related topics. For those interested in boosting fertility, check out Make A Mom for insights on supplements that can help. And if you’re looking for tools for your own journey, don’t forget to look at our guide on the at-home intracervical insemination syringe kit.

In summary, financial stress can deeply impact relationships, creating feelings of isolation and tension. While some hope exists for a more secure future, the current reality demands cooperative management of finances to alleviate strain on partnerships.

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