4 Insights Gained from Sharing My Vagina Journey Online

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Recently, I penned an article about my experience with a labial tear during the birth of my first child. At my six-week postpartum checkup, my doctor casually revealed that my stitches hadn’t held, leaving me with a playful little flap. My own version of a “Red Badge of Courage,” if you will. No need to fret, she assured me; we could address it with my next pregnancy.

I never expected the online reaction to my vaginal experience, but I aimed to bring a bit of humor to a difficult situation and offer support to others who might have faced something similar. Here’s what I learned from putting my labia flap out there for all to see:

  1. Squeamishness is Real
    “Wow, I can’t believe she wrote about her vagina! That’s so gross!”
    Sure, it might seem gross to some, but let’s be real—childbirth is not pretty. Whether you’re cut open or a watermelon-sized object is squeezed through your birth canal, it’s rarely elegant. And if your vagina emerges unscathed, you might still be in for some surprises that require a bit of Preparation H. If my partner still finds me attractive after witnessing the miracle of life, I’m more than okay with my altered anatomy.
  2. Support Comes from Unexpected Places
    After my article was published, I was pleasantly surprised by the number of strangers who reached out to share their experiences and thank me for my openness—many women felt relieved to know they weren’t alone. Labial tears are surprisingly common, yet often overshadowed by the more infamous perineal tears. While I don’t envision a future in adult entertainment, it’s heartening to know that my story provided both laughter and comfort to others.
  3. Anatomy Education is Lacking
    “Hey, Em, you should share that article with Grandma—about your lab-ee-ya.”
    “Seriously, Mom? It’s pronounced ‘lay-bee-ya.’ You make it sound like a cross between a lab and a Chihuahua!”
    It’s astonishing how many people are unaware that labia can tear. In fact, many don’t even know what labia are. One friend used my article to teach her husband about female anatomy, which made me proud. We often learn more about baby care than our own bodies in prenatal classes, with little focus on what happens downstairs after delivery. When my friend mentioned her fourth-degree tear, I was horrified—not realizing she thought it was just a level on a scale of one to ten.
  4. Be Your Own Advocate
    I realized I needed to contact my insurance company about my options. After waiting for 94 minutes on hold, I decided to call it a day but plan to try again soon. This experience reinforced the importance of speaking up about our health. Too often, women hesitate to voice their discomfort—whether it’s to doctors or insurers—out of embarrassment. Before my next childbirth experience, I’ll be having some frank discussions with my provider about what to expect. If you’re a new mom not satisfied with your postpartum anatomy, remember that you hold the power to advocate for yourself.

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Summary

Sharing my experience with a labial tear has taught me about the importance of awareness, the necessity of education on female anatomy, and the power of community support. Most importantly, it highlighted the need for women to advocate for their own health, particularly after childbirth.

Keyphrase: Sharing my experience with a labial tear

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