I have a little boy who adores princesses. His favorite is definitely Elsa, though he also has a fondness for Belle and Moana. Wrapped in his cherished white fleece blanket, which he’s had since infancy, he proudly proclaims, “Look at me, Mommy. I’m Elsa. I’m different.”
What he means is he embodies not the Elsa from the beginning of the story with the purple cape, but the Elsa who has embraced her true self, adorned in her snow-and-ice gown. He identifies with the Elsa who has undergone transformation, just like himself, who is different from what society often expects.
My heart swells with pride for his creativity and enthusiasm, yet it also carries the heavy weight of concern. As he dances around in his imaginary world singing “Let It Go,” I can’t help but feel a pang of fear. He is perfect, passionate, and all too vulnerable to the judgment of others.
I know that cruelty awaits him. I worry that soon someone will mock him for his love of Elsa and the enchanting gown he desires every time we stroll down the Disney aisle at Target. Each time he asks for it, I find myself hesitating, torn between wanting to encourage his imagination and fearing the pain that might come from societal rejection.
I’ve witnessed friends embrace their individuality only to suffer from society’s harsh judgments. Conversely, I’ve seen others shun their true selves, only to endure torment from their own self-doubt. So how do I guide him through this?
It’s heartbreaking to think that this pain exists because society has constructed rigid ideals about what boys and girls should like. Boys are expected to gravitate towards trucks and action figures, while girls are often seen as the ones who adore glitter and tiaras. It’s a narrow framework that ironically contradicts society’s own messages of individuality: “Be Yourself. Express Yourself. Break the Mold.” Yet, these phrases ring hollow when they only apply to those who fit the traditional mold.
For young boys who prefer “girl” things, there is no socially acceptable term like “tomboy” to soften the judgment. Society tends to frown upon boys who enjoy princesses and the color pink.
I’ve noticed someone has already begun to instill doubt in my son’s mind. Recently, he asked me, “Mommy, are pink and purple girl colors?” Each time he poses this question, I cringe. I respond, “No, boys can wear pink and purple too. Anyone can wear those colors.” He nods, reassured, but my heart aches knowing that the world will try to box him in.
“I’m Elsa and I’m different,” he declares again, spinning joyfully in his blanket. It reminds me of Elsa’s story, where she had to run from society until her true self finally broke free, risking everything. I refuse to let my sweet son face a similar fate. If he loves princesses, pink, Peppa Pig, and Barbie, then I will support him wholeheartedly. I will not stifle his feelings or push him into a box.
Yes, this decision may lead to heartache for both of us. One day, he will confront the harsh realities of the world, and my heart will break alongside his. Yet, I believe that it will hurt less than teaching him to despise himself for who he is.
I have no idea how my son will feel as he grows older. He may still love princesses as a teenager or an adult, and that’s perfectly fine. If his interests change, that’s okay too. What matters now is that he feels loved and accepted just as he is.
I adore my son, and I firmly believe that love is the antidote to hate. Self-acceptance is the first step, and so when my son asks for an Elsa gown for Christmas, my answer must be, “Absolutely.” I need him to know that it is perfectly okay for him to be exactly who he is.
He is different, and that is something to be celebrated.
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Summary
This article explores the challenges of parenting a son who loves traditionally feminine things, like princesses, in a society that often pressures boys to conform to more masculine interests. The author expresses pride in her son’s imagination while also grappling with concerns about societal judgment. Ultimately, the message emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and unconditional love, allowing children to embrace their true selves without fear of societal expectations.
Keyphrase: boys loving princesses
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