Since childhood, I’ve recognized that patience is not my strong suit. What I failed to understand was that my quick temper stemmed from anxiety. I often felt an incessant need to rush into the next task. Whether it was a fear of missing out or the tendency to overthink while waiting for others, this restlessness left me feeling irritable and out of control.
Becoming a parent magnified this struggle. The immense patience required to calm a crying baby or the time it takes to master breastfeeding only heightened my feelings of frustration. I found myself grappling with anger and resentment, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source of my rage, given my deep desire to be a mother.
I would often remind myself to relax, telling myself, “Just take it easy.” My longing for children was palpable; I would approach mothers with strollers, eager to hear their stories, desperate for the same joy of motherhood. Perhaps I was exaggerating, but I often found myself drawn to expectant mothers, as if their joy might somehow transfer to me.
One day, while nursing my youngest son—who seemed to need an eternity to fall asleep—I had a revelation: my anger was directed at myself. My short fuse was preventing me from being the parent I aspired to be. I grew frustrated with the simplest tasks, like teaching my kids to tie their shoes or enjoy an ice cream cone without making a mess. My anxiety kept me from being present in the moment.
I believe that unless you possess extraordinary patience, many parents struggle with tolerance, especially when faced with stress and anxiety. Our stress can lead to feelings of anxiety, which in turn breed anger. Before you know it, you’re hovering over your child, tying their shoelaces out of sheer frustration.
I know all too well the aftermath of losing one’s temper. Even if you don’t completely lose it over something minor—like your child taking forever to use a public restroom—you still deal with guilt afterward. You may feel terrible for hurrying them, speaking too harshly, or wishing for silence while they excitedly chatter about their favorite shows.
It’s easy to feel selfish when these emotions bubble up, especially when you desire the best for your child. You recognize your overreactions, but in the heat of the moment, it’s challenging to control your feelings.
I’ve had my fair share of days when watching my child struggle with a simple task nearly pushed me over the edge, forcing me to take a step back. We vow to do better the next day, and we genuinely try. Some days we succeed, while other days fall short, but this doesn’t define us as bad parents.
If you find yourself struggling with impatience, know you’re not alone. We all have moments when we lose our cool because, let’s face it, parenting is incredibly demanding. It’s okay to admit that sometimes we falter. Eventually, our children will come to understand our struggles, perhaps when they become parents themselves.
For now, all they need is our love and our best efforts—even if that sometimes comes with a bit of frustration. It’s a part of being human.
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Summary
Being an impatient parent is a common struggle, often exacerbated by anxiety. It can lead to feelings of anger and guilt when we don’t meet our own expectations. Acknowledging these feelings and understanding that we’re not alone can help us navigate the challenges of parenting.
Keyphrase: impatience in parenting
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