As a parent of a child with dyslexia, I often find myself navigating through well-meaning yet thoughtless remarks from those who may not fully understand our experience. My son is incredibly bright and dedicated, but he faces significant challenges when it comes to reading and writing. Even in subjects like math, he sometimes struggles due to misinterpreting written instructions or mixing up numbers, which can lead to disappointing grades.
Fortunately, my son benefits from an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) thanks to the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). This plan provides him with essential tools and accommodations to help him succeed. However, it’s the careless comments from others that can truly sting, especially in casual settings like school pick-up lines or birthday parties, where other parents can often make offhand remarks.
“Oh, my second grader reads better than his fifth-grade buddy!” someone might exclaim. My response is typically a polite, “That’s nice,” but internally I’m grappling with the reality that my fifth grader struggles to read at grade level, perhaps even becoming the subject of that conversation.
When another parent gripes, “My daughter isn’t in the top spelling group,” I maintain my neutral expression. What do they expect from me? Sympathy? Meanwhile, my son has just been moved up to the lowest spelling group, which we celebrated because it marked his first step beyond his individualized word list.
Each week, he studies diligently for his spelling tests, aware that many classmates seem to breeze through without any effort at all. It’s a constant reminder of the stark differences in their experiences.
Then there are the comments that leave me speechless, like, “My daughter reads at a 9th-grade level; I can’t find challenging books for her!” All I can think is, “Let me just step back before any emotional casualties occur.”
I may come across as overly sensitive, but consider this: around 15-20% of the population has a language-based learning disability, as noted by the International Dyslexia Association. When you casually mention how easy school is for your child, you might not realize the impact those words can have on children who already face daily challenges.
So, I urge fellow parents to think before they speak. Your seemingly innocent comments could inadvertently hurt those of us who are navigating a much tougher road.
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In summary, let’s be mindful of our words and the impact they can have on others. Every child is on their unique journey, and a little empathy can go a long way.
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