I have my fair share of shortcomings, and honestly, they don’t bother me much. I can’t peel a hardboiled egg without ruining it. Sports? Forget it. Math? Let’s just say my algebra teacher from high school would be horrified by my current knowledge. And when it comes to assembling a stylish outfit, Pinterest or store mannequins are my go-to guides. While I acknowledge these weaknesses, there’s one area where I feel genuinely remorseful — friendship.
I admit, I’m a bit of a slacker when it comes to nurturing my friendships. I often fail to reply to texts, snaps, or Facebook messages promptly. Phone calls? Sometimes I miss them entirely, and even if I promise to return the call, I might forget. Weeks can pass without meaningful exchanges between me and my friends.
If my friends don’t actively pull me out of my house or show up unexpectedly, my hermit tendencies can keep me hidden for far too long. I might send a funny meme or drop a comment on their Instagram post to indicate I’m still around, but my engagement is minimal. I keep a passive eye on their lives through my Facebook feed, and as long as I know they’re managing well without me, I don’t prioritize staying in touch.
Make no mistake: I truly cherish my friends. I think of them often — multiple times a day, in fact. If there’s a crisis, I’m always there, ready to lend support, whether it’s the middle of the night or during a tough time. However, when it comes to the daily grind of simply saying “hey,” I struggle to actually convey to my friends that they’re on my mind. Something will trigger a thought of a dear friend, and I’ll resolve to reach out, but then… I don’t. Life gets hectic, overwhelming, and before I know it, my schedule is so packed that I can’t even manage a brief phone call. After all, a simple chat could easily consume thirty minutes — time I feel I desperately need to catch up on everything else.
I used to be a better friend back in the day — youthful, energetic, and not stretched so thin with responsibilities like work, a partner, household chores, and kids. I had ample time for chats, pedicures, and girls’ nights. Now, I can barely muster the energy to fold my laundry, which is why it sits wrinkling in the basket. Something has to give.
I’ve lost friends due to my tendency to “ghost,” and I totally understand why. But those were more superficial connections — acquaintances who didn’t quite grasp my situation. My true friends, however, realize not to take it personally when I retreat into my own world. It’s a pattern that emerges when I’ve taken on more than I can handle, which is quite frequently, and I’m trying to juggle multiple commitments. Routine friendship upkeep often falls to the wayside during these times, and my communication dwindles to quick snaps or Facebook “likes” sent from the bathroom.
The silver lining is that my friends get it. I know they won’t judge me, even when I flake out or withdraw due to anxiety and overwhelm. The fact that I can feel secure enough to take a step back speaks volumes: I trust that they’re not going anywhere. When I finally resurface, they’ll be there, and it will feel as if no time has passed at all — we’ll pick up right where we left off.
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In summary, while I may struggle with maintaining friendships in our fast-paced lives, the bonds I share with my true friends remain strong. They understand my challenges, and when I do reconnect, it’s as if we’ve never skipped a beat.