As a sports mom, I find myself balancing my time between sleeping, pondering dinner options, and spending countless hours at youth sports events, cheering on my kids in their various games—soccer, basketball, lacrosse, and football. Those hours spent on the sidelines create a unique space for reflection, and occasionally indulging in a pack of Sour Patch Kids, which is one of the few places I can do that without raising eyebrows.
While I genuinely love watching my kids, whether they are in the game or warming the bench, it can be challenging to stay engaged at the 1,038th game of the year. My mind often wanders to thoughts like these:
Why must we always trek to the most distant field from the parking lot?
I forgot my blanket again. Oh, wait, it’s in the car, but the dog was sick on it. Should I grab it anyway? Nah. Not unless it gets really cold.
These seats are painfully uncomfortable.
Why do I always choose the broken chair? I might as well just stay put until everyone else leaves; I can’t seem to get out of this thing anyway. My knees are practically touching my chin. Just smile; no one will notice.
How old are those kids on the opposing team?
They look enormous! That kid can’t be 10—does he have a mustache? He looks old enough to drive! Haha, I crack myself up. Speaking of which, I could go for a cold drink right now, but I don’t even drink beer.
I really love this sport.
Do I have cankles? Why am I still wearing capris? Time for a shopping trip—nobody looks good in capris. Except that mom over there—she must do pilates or barre.
Is there a bar nearby?
How many minutes did my son actually play? Three? I really need an app for tracking that. But apps? Meh… I’d rather think about food. Buffalo chicken dip sounds good, but not edamame. Those are just trendy lima beans.
Did that just rain?
Oh wait, is that my husband being loud? He’s not a jerk; maybe I’m just tired.
Is that a bee?!
I can’t move from this chair! IS THAT A BEE?!
It’s too chilly for spring.
Oh, I wish I had remembered my blanket. I need to wash that blanket. And the laundry! And I should clean out the closets and tackle that stack of papers on the kitchen table. We really need a new kitchen table. Or a new kitchen altogether. Maybe we should move.
Is that my son out there?
What number is he? Why is that other kid getting so much playtime? Oh, right—the coach’s son. He missed the last shot but somehow just scored. Ball-hog.
Did I miss a spot shaving?
Oh no, here comes a mom to talk to me; what’s her name again? Just look straight ahead.
I like her hair. Mine, not so much.
What’s for dinner tonight?
Ugh, I absolutely dread making dinner. Do we really need to eat dinner?
I need to use the restroom, but that’s quite a trek through those gross bathrooms.
No toilet paper and always spiders. I can hold it; I’m stuck in this chair anyway.
Did I forget my fleece again? Go blue!
Am I shouting too loudly? That was a bit too much. I sounded like a comedian, not a sports mom.
Is there a bar around here?
What number is my son again?
Do I really have to cook? How many pizzas have we had this week? Pizza is actually a solid choice—better than fried chicken or something worse.
Did my kid just score?
Darn, I missed it! I’ll just tell him I saw it. “Great job, buddy!” Oops, not “buddy”—uh, “dude?”
What quarter is it?
What day is it? That didn’t seem like a foul. Is that rain? Hope it is.
Did we drive two hours for this game?
I really dislike this sport right now.
Is that guy eating a pretzel?
Oh wait, he’s looking at me. Did I say that out loud?
What’s the score?
I like her sunglasses; they give her a Tina Fey vibe. I’d probably look more like Tina Belcher in them.
Is that rain?
That was definitely out of bounds! What’s the score? She seems nice. Oh, never mind—she’s a screamer.
Is this game almost over?
Where did I park the car? Where is my other child? Where are you now that I need you? Great, now I have Justin Bieber stuck in my head.
I could go for shrimp and linguine.
Wow, that’s random. With a glass of wine—now we’re talking! Wasn’t there a movie called “Look Who’s Talking?” Who was in that? Bruce Willis? Where are you now, Bruce?
Did I even bring my other child?
Where are you? Get out of my head, Justin. Is that thunder I hear?
I should take some photos!
Oh no, my memory is full—delete, delete, delete… Oh, that’s cute! Delete.
What’s the score?
Overtime? Oh no, please, no!
I really need to pee. Was that rain?
Please let that be rain.
In summary, being a sports mom is a whirlwind of thoughts, from mundane worries to the enjoyment of watching your kids play. We navigate uncomfortable seating, questionable weather, and the complexities of social interactions—all while trying to stay engaged in the game. For anyone on a similar journey, resources like this fertility booster for men and this guide on couples’ fertility journeys can be incredibly helpful. Additionally, Resolve offers fantastic information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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