I Haven’t Been the Best Friend Lately, and I’m Sorry

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It’s late, and my kids are finally asleep after what feels like a relentless battle of getting them to stay in bed. While my body craves rest, my mind is racing. I can’t shake off the thoughts of all the tasks left undone, the errands piling up, and the constant feeling of falling short. I strive to be an amazing mom and a supportive wife, hoping for harmony at home, all while trying to excel at work. The struggle to juggle it all is real.

As much as I wish I could be the friend who’s always there, I admit that I’m falling short lately. I’m not here to make excuses, but if I can carve out time for the occasional binge-watch, I certainly should have time to respond to your messages. Yet, here’s a glimpse into my chaotic world:

  • I meant to text you back, but it was 6 a.m. while everyone else was still asleep.
  • I lost my phone for what felt like an eternity.
  • Our cat decided the floor was a better litter box.
  • A child had an unfortunate accident as well.
  • I thought about replying, only to forget in the whirlwind of parenting chaos.
  • My kid commandeered my phone, and I desperately needed a few moments of peace.
  • I told myself I’d reach out when I had a free minute, but that minute seems to vanish.
  • Someone flooded the toilet again.
  • By the time I remembered, I was already drifting off to sleep.
  • Anxiety creeps in, and even when I want to chat, I find it hard to make the first move.

You get the picture—life constantly gets in the way. It’s not that I don’t want to nurture our friendships; it’s just that I’m overwhelmed.

I genuinely care about my friends. If something significant happened, I’d be there without hesitation. However, when it comes to everyday interactions, I struggle to keep up.

Friendships in our twenties were a different ballgame. We had endless time and the freedom to enjoy spontaneous nights out, with no responsibilities to hold us back. Now, in our thirties, we connect via a few texts and make plans that often fall through. When we finally manage a night out, we cherish it, but we’re also ready to head home and get to bed by 10 p.m. We’re all exhausted, and there’s no room for hangovers.

Most of us can hardly recall the last time we had a full night’s sleep. We’re all in search of that elusive balance between family, work, and personal time.

Whenever I find a moment to myself, I often choose solitude. I put on some music and unwind without any distractions. It’s a rare treat. As mothers, we’re always pouring ourselves into our families, prioritizing our children’s needs over our own. Almost all the time, they are our main focus, leaving us with only a sliver of time for ourselves.

Yes, sometimes self-care means indulging in a Netflix series or, yes, even binge-eating after the kids are tucked in. It’s essential to take care of ourselves to recharge. So yes, I still cherish my friendships. It’s just that my focus has shifted while I navigate the challenges of raising little ones, maintaining my marriage, and looking after myself.

But remember, this phase is temporary. Before long, our kids will gain independence, allowing us more space for our friendships. So don’t forget about me or think I’ve forgotten you. Once the dust settles and I can finally breathe, I’ll be craving those coffee dates with my best friends.

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Summary:

Life as a parent can be overwhelming, making it hard to maintain friendships. While my priorities have shifted, my love for my friends remains. This phase is temporary, and soon enough, I’ll be ready to reconnect with my besties over coffee.

Keyphrase: Friendships in Parenthood

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