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What ‘Normal’ Really Looks Like
by Sarah Thompson
Updated: June 2, 2020
Originally Published: March 24, 2018
It’s common to hear other parents say things like, “Oh, I can’t invite you over; my place is a disaster.” However, as soon as I step inside for a playdate, they immediately add, “Please don’t judge me; it’s a complete wreck. Seriously, don’t look. I’m so embarrassed.”
And honestly, these claims are often exaggerated. When I enter that so-called messy home, the kitchen of the mom who’s practically in tears over her “dirty” living space, I find myself torn between laughter and disbelief. Girl, please! Your home is not just clean; it’s spotless! You have fresh guest towels on display, and the children’s toys are neatly contained on a rug, which, by the way, isn’t even sprinkled with crumbs. The sippy cups are neatly stored in the kitchen, and the Play-Doh hasn’t dared to cross these thresholds. Claiming your house is dirty is either a sign of denial, a misunderstanding of what small kids bring to the table, or perhaps a subtle bid for sympathy. It’s probably a mix of all three. Seriously, just stop. You can either embrace the chaos of children or maintain a pristine home, and I’ve got three energetic boys under five to contend with.
So for all you moms insisting your spotless homes are messy, and for those of you who avoid hosting because you believe your cleanliness standards are unattainable due to kids, pets, and the constant influx of art projects, let’s establish some real guidelines.
Normal:
There’s always one room in your home that remains cluttered, much like Lady Macbeth’s infamous hands, forever stained.
For me, that space is the dining room, which is furnished with my great-grandmother’s cherry dining suite. It’s where I sew, hide art supplies, and stow away boxes for various projects. The lovely cherry wood is practically hidden under a mountain of supplies and, let’s face it, if there’s ever a time when the room is tidy, it’s for special occasions. Otherwise, do not enter, Judgy McJudgerson!
Normal:
Laundry is a constant presence in every corner of your home.
Current count: five clean baskets in the laundry room, blocking access to the fridge and maybe creating a fire hazard, one clean basket in the master bedroom, and a load in both the dryer and the washer. Surprisingly, there’s no basket of dirty clothes anywhere. This week, we’re laundry champions! Will those clean baskets eventually make it to folding, or even into drawers? Who knows? But I recall a relative of mine who had to conceal her kids’ Christmas gift—a pet snake—for two weeks, hidden beneath the laundry baskets in her room. Now that’s a laundry legend!
Normal:
Your sink is overflowing with dishes, and you can’t find a clean spoon anywhere.
So you grab a teaspoon for your cereal. If you find yourself contemplating using that odd grapefruit spoon at the bottom of the drawer, it’s definitely time to tackle a load, especially so your kids can have plates for lunch.
Normal:
Kids’ bath toys are left exactly where they were after bath time.
And let’s not even discuss what’s lurking behind that shower curtain.
Normal:
Toys are scattered throughout the house, and no matter how hard you try, you can never get everything picked up.
True story: I’ve found those annoying ball-pit balls in the washing machine, my front yard, and wedged between car seats. We’re also swimming in Duplos and Star Wars figures. If I happen to find plastic army men behind your toilet, trust me, I’m not judging.
Normal:
Cups are everywhere.
Somehow, we survived the ’80s without dehydration when my mom wouldn’t let us leave the kitchen with a Tupperware cup of Kool-Aid. But these days, my kids act like they’ll wither away without juice in hand—except they leave cups scattered everywhere, then opt for a fresh one. They hold up half-finished drinks and ask, “Is this good, Mama?” Yours do too, admit it.
Normal:
Your home shows signs of artistic expression—often in the form of stains.
My bathtub boasts some tie-dye stains that may or may not fade, and I need to repaint the kitchen wall after letting my toddlers loose with acrylics. At the very least, your toddler has probably used a pen on the wall, and you haven’t had the time to erase it yet.
Normal:
Your car’s floor is hidden beneath a layer of clutter.
Where else would you stash those fast-food cups, spare diapers, or dirty sippy cups? Your spouse probably has a few choice words about it, too.
Normal:
You forgot trash day once again.
Now your garbage can is overflowing, and your recycling bin looks like it hosted a wild party. But really, it’s just the result of forgetting trash day for two weeks. That’s alright, as long as you got the trash out of the house—you’re winning! High-five!
Normal:
Dust has probably settled in your home since your last family visit.
I think I own Pledge somewhere? Don’t even think about checking those upper bookshelves if you have allergies.
Normal:
Some part of your house has been in disrepair longer than you care to admit.
My oldest son has never seen us use our master bathroom shower. We need to replace the tile, but it hasn’t happened yet. I assumed this was a huge shame until I casually mentioned it to other moms. Turns out, two of them admitted to having unusable bathrooms, one has a deck with holes, and another warns guests about unstable front stairs. I salute you, fellow moms!
So there you have it. Either your home is truly spotless—so stop with the apologies—or at the very least, you can stop feeling ashamed and begin hosting playdates. We’re all in the same boat. I promise not to peek into your dining room if you don’t inspect mine.
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Summary:
This article humorously explores the everyday realities of parenting and household chaos, challenging the perception of cleanliness among mothers. It illustrates how normal homes often contain clutter, laundry, and artistic messes while promoting camaraderie and understanding among parents.
Keyphrase: normal parenting chaos
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