When you become a parent, you encounter numerous unexpected challenges. I don’t just mean the usual milestones like the first diaper change or the first wobbly steps. I’m referring to those surprising moments that catch you off guard, the ones that make you rethink your previous judgments about parenting. For example, the time I used a baby wipe for my makeup because I was too exhausted to follow my skincare routine, or when breakfast turned into a mad dash with a box of Fruit Loops in the car, allowing my kids to grab handfuls as we rushed to school.
For parents of children with special needs, these surprises take on a different dimension. Some moments are amusing in retrospect, like when I found myself on a watch list after confronting a rude insurance agent, while others bring a wave of emotion, like when I found myself crying in the pantry over a sudden, unexpected hurt.
Today brought a new kind of first for me.
My daughter, Lily, is 15 and has severe autism. She attends a small, rural high school that, to be honest, is a pretty good fit for her. The teachers are wonderful, she has a dedicated aide throughout the day, and she participates in various school activities to the best of her ability. Overall, she seems happy there, which is all any parent could hope for.
However, today I found myself writing a letter to the school’s administration, granting them permission to restrain her if necessary.
The reality of living in a country with lax gun laws hit me hard one morning. With the increasing frequency of school shootings—often fueled by politicians’ ties to the NRA—I couldn’t shake the thought: how would they protect my daughter if a shooter entered her school?
Every child deserves to feel safe and secure, but the question lingered: what would they do to calm her down during such a terrifying event? I spoke with her teacher, the assistant principal, and even the principal. They all assured me they would do everything possible to ensure her safety. But I knew better. Restraining my daughter, who often finds solace in her own movements and vocalizations, is no small feat. After 15 years of being her mother, I understand this challenge all too well.
So, I took the unprecedented step of writing a letter granting the school permission to physically restrain her if needed. I detailed my understanding that this could result in bruises or injuries, and I agreed not to hold the school accountable. In essence, I put in writing my consent for someone to potentially hurt my child, hoping it would prevent a far worse fate at the hands of an armed intruder.
This is a first that no parent should have to experience. The thought of allowing someone to hurt my child, in order to protect her from a greater danger, is a heavy burden to bear.
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In summary, navigating the complexities of parenting a child with special needs can lead to tough decisions that challenge your values and beliefs. The safety of our children often forces us into corners we never thought we would find ourselves in, making us question the limits we would go to in order to protect them.
Keyphrase: parental consent for restraint
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