In the candid space of online parenting discussions, one mother confesses, “I really can’t stand seeing posts where people tag their best friends. I feel like I have no one whom I could even call a friend. Motherhood has left me feeling so isolated.” Another parent echoes this sentiment, expressing, “I barely know six people… I crave friendships. Why is loneliness a part of being a mom?”
Related: 8 Strategies to Combat Loneliness While Taking Things At Your Own Pace
Another anonymous mom shares her struggle: “I find myself oversharing with strangers daily. It’s not intentional; I just lack adult interaction, so I end up spilling everything.”
They are not alone in feeling this way. While they may feel isolated, a study conducted in the UK by Action for Children found that over half of new parents report feelings of loneliness after welcoming a child. An astonishing 68% felt as though they were “cut off” from their social circles, and many reported increased loneliness since becoming parents. Contributing factors may include job loss, maternity leave, and financial strains, according to the researchers.
Raquel D’Apice, author of Welcome to the Club: 100 Baby Milestones You Never Saw Coming, points out that milestone #56 is the moment when one feels “overwhelmed by loneliness for the first time.” She likens it to the moment in a game of hide-and-seek when you realize no one is looking for you—only much lonelier.
Most new parents desire to maintain friendships, but anxiety about leaving their baby or sheer exhaustion often makes it difficult. Only those who have experienced the sleepless nights of new parenthood truly understand the fatigue that accompanies it.
Going out for a movie with friends? Sure, you can pump and leave the baby with your partner, but there’s a high chance you’ll fall asleep in that comfy theater seat—if you can even muster the energy to drive there. Over time, if you frequently decline invitations, friends may drift away, not understanding the demands of caring for a little one. They may think you’re busy nesting and will reach out when you’re ready to socialize. Instead, you’re waiting for them to call, and friendships can quietly fade.
We often hear advice to seek out new communities—parenting groups! But what if you’re grappling with postpartum anxiety, which affects around 30% of new parents? Joining a large group of strangers might exacerbate your fears instead of alleviating them. And many groups have specific focuses; you might feel pressured to conform to certain ideals, like exclusive breastfeeding or babywearing, which can be overwhelming.
The root of parental loneliness can be traced back to insufficient maternity leave, lack of proper mental health screening post-birth, and a general absence of community. As Kara Carrero notes on Extremely Good Parenting, the lack of a supportive village can lead to burnout among new parents. With no babysitters available, the strain on relationships increases, and asking for help can feel daunting. Without someone to share their own experiences, many parents feel isolated and stressed, forced to rely solely on themselves, which is often at the expense of their mental health.
So, how can new parents build their village? Many turn to online platforms for connection. While this can be beneficial, fostering friendships with those who are experiencing similar parenting challenges, it can’t replace the in-person support needed during tough times. For instance, while online friends are wonderful, they can’t physically help when you’re sick or provide last-minute childcare.
In my own journey, I was fortunate to embrace attachment parenting, which naturally fostered community among like-minded mothers. We bonded over shared practices like breastfeeding and babywearing, but as the baby years passed, many of those connections faded as our common interests changed.
Now, I find myself seeking new friendships with moms who share similar values and interests. Most days, I’m home alone with my kids, wishing my distant friends lived closer so we could support each other—cooking meals together, trading childcare, and alleviating that deep sense of loneliness.
While self-reliance is valuable, I’m learning that embracing community is essential for emotional well-being.
For further insights on pregnancy and parenting, check out this excellent resource from the World Health Organization, or explore how to create your own family with an at-home insemination kit. You can find more about it at this link and this guide.
Summary
Many new parents feel isolated and lonely after childbirth, with studies revealing a significant number report feeling cut off from their social circles. Factors contributing to this loneliness include job loss, financial strain, and the challenges of new parenthood. Building a supportive community is crucial for emotional well-being, yet many struggle to connect with others due to anxiety and societal pressures. Online friendships can help, but they often lack the physical support needed during tough times.
Keyphrase: New parents loneliness
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