“Hey, how’s it going?” I ask, glancing at my phone as I navigate the bustling grocery store. I’ve just stumbled upon an old friend, Sarah, and we’re both in a hurry. My heart sinks a little as I realize how long it’s been since we last connected.
“I’m just so busy!” she exclaims, wearing her comfy yoga pants and messy bun—both of which mirror my own look. She dives into a detailed account of her hectic schedule: soccer practices, PTA meetings, and work responsibilities.
As I stand there, waiting for her to finish her lengthy list of activities, I catch myself mentally drafting my own busy agenda to share. Oh, she thinks she’s busy? I can’t help but compare our lives, thinking about how I juggle work and my younger kids.
When she finally pauses, Sarah looks at me expectantly. “So, what’s new?” she asks, as if she’s waiting for me to validate her busyness with my own.
This exchange made me reflect on the nature of our friendships as mothers. It seems we’ve turned being busy into a competition, as if our worth as parents hinges on how full our schedules are.
Ladies, let’s be real. This glorification of busyness is damaging our relationships. We often find ourselves overwhelmed by activities we’ve chosen, questioning whether we truly want to be this busy or if we’re just keeping pace with other moms. Are we overcommitting our kids to validate our decisions, like taking on extra PTA roles to justify being stay-at-home moms?
When we tell friends we’re busy, what are we really conveying? If we’re honest, we might admit to feeling swamped by our self-imposed obligations. I once read Tim Krieder’s article, “The Busy Trap,” in which he discusses our tendency to equate busyness with importance. He notes that we believe our lives must be meaningful if we’re always occupied.
So when we claim we’re too busy to catch up, what are we really expressing? Often, it’s a desire to seem important while masking our insecurities. We might be trying to distract ourselves from the mundane aspects of motherhood, where running errands fills the void. When we declare, “I’m busy!” it can come off as, “I have more value because I’m in demand!”
Is this truly the message we want to send? Do we want our busyness to stand in the way of meaningful connections with friends?
The next time you cross paths with a friend and the question of how you’re doing arises, be truthful. Share how you’re feeling overwhelmed or excited about a new work project. Admit that signing your child up for that travel volleyball team might not have been the best move. Resist the urge to one-up her with your list of tasks.
No one is busier than anyone else; we all have our struggles. We’re all managing our own chaos in a society that demands we stay connected 24/7 and treats downtime as a luxury. Many of us have made choices that led us to juggle too many commitments, sacrificing our well-being in the process.
Let’s change the narrative around busyness.
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In summary, let’s foster deeper connections by being honest about our lives instead of competing in the busyness game.
Keyphrase: Understanding the impact of busyness on friendships
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