Why I Allow My Children to Engage with Violent Video Games

Parenting Insights

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I have a confession: my children enjoy first-person shooter games. Admitting this doesn’t make me feel like a more enlightened parent; in fact, it often leaves me feeling uneasy. As someone who advocates for gun control, I’ve always leaned towards a more peaceful approach. I remember when I cringed at the sight of toddlers pretending to shoot with water pistols at the park, or when I chastised a boy who transformed his balloon sword into a balloon gun—only to be told by his grandmother, “I didn’t let my son play with guns, and now he’s a cop.” That moment made me reconsider, and I promptly handed my then 3-year-old a balloon sword that could double as a gun.

Fast forward twelve years, and my household is filled with Nerf guns and video games. While I haven’t actively encouraged gunplay or gaming, I haven’t prohibited them either. My boys—aged 15 and 10—can enjoy their toys and video games just as much as they do their bicycles and soccer balls. For clarification, they’re only allowed to play games rated “E 10+” or “Teen,” which means no extreme violence, gore, sexual content, or strong language (though they might just think it’s me talking).

What began as simple pixelated bows and arrows has transformed into highly realistic graphics featuring an array of weapons. I must admit, I’m both ashamed and amazed at how knowledgeable my sons are about various types of armor and ammunition. Yes, I know this sounds alarming. We’re part of a charter school community that discourages the use of electronics, yet I know other families also navigate the balance between monitoring and allowing video games. For some, even Minecraft is deemed too violent.

Honestly, I miss the days of Minecraft. I used to swear that I would never let my kids engage with anything that I hadn’t vetted myself. Yet here I am, longing for the innocence of those pixelated blocks amid a landscape filled with guns. In a world filled with darkness, we often justify embracing smaller evils.

I understand the appeal of first-person shooter games; they present grand adventures across imaginative landscapes from a player’s perspective. Nowadays, they also serve as a means for social interaction, especially among teenagers. Being part of a team battling enemies is exhilarating, and while they could have similar experiences without the shooting, it appears that the thrill of virtual combat draws them in.

As I stand there, watching them play, I sometimes feel like the worst mother. Here I am, advocating for peace and love while my kids are engaged in virtual warfare. Should I unplug it? Delete their games? Scream in frustration? Restrict them to games like Wii Sports or Dance Dance Revolution?

But at this point, my kids are so immersed in their gaming that it would be hypocritical of me to cut them off from something that is so widely popular. Sure, I worry about the potential impacts of their gaming habits. But I also recognize that my sons are fundamentally good individuals—kind, empathetic, and responsible. They excel in school, help with chores, and maintain friendships while balancing time outdoors and engaging in family activities.

What occurs on the screen seems to remain confined to it. Perhaps I’m deluding myself, but they seem to manage a clear distinction between gaming and reality, and they typically respect the time limits I set.

Am I merely easing my guilt for allowing them to play these games? Possibly. Am I ignoring my social responsibility to prevent my children from engaging in virtual violence? I hope not. After all, we all think, “Not my kid!” But where should we draw the line?

I’ve communicated my concerns about real-life gun violence and the importance of gun safety, while also recognizing the responsible gun ownership practiced by my husband’s family. Surprisingly, they’ve been receptive to my worries, often reassuring me, “It’s okay, Mom, we know it’s not real.”

I’m aware they might be playing me as much as the games themselves, but I genuinely want to believe them. Yet, as the national conversation around gun violence continues, I can’t shake the feeling of hypocrisy. I remain vigilant, enforce time limits, show them love, and engage with them in various activities—whether it’s a puzzle, cooking, or even just asking them to play a game with me.

In conclusion, navigating the world of parenting in an era where violent video games are prevalent is challenging. Ultimately, I trust in my children’s character and judgment, hoping that they can discern fantasy from reality.

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Summary

This article discusses the complex feelings of a mother allowing her children to engage with violent video games despite her advocacy for peace and gun control. It explores the balance between concern and trust in their character, while recognizing the social aspects of gaming among peers.

Keyphrase: Parenting and Video Games
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