When I think back to my childhood summers, I remember countless hours spent at a rope swing by a secluded river in Utah, completely free of adult supervision. At 11, my friends and I would swing out over the water, attempting backflips and daring jumps from precarious branches. We often found ourselves in precarious situations, but we never once heard the phrase “be careful.” Instead, we navigated our own adventures and learned from our mistakes—something that seems increasingly rare today.
Now, as a parent of an 11-year-old named Jake, I sometimes question whether I’d allow him to venture out to a similar rope swing with friends. Would I be making headlines for letting him go alone? The truth is, kids today seem less inclined to take those kinds of risks. A few years back, while watching a classic film, Jake asked, “Where are their parents?”—a reflection of our current parenting climate.
In today’s world, “helicopter parenting” has become the norm, leaving many of us concerned about our children’s ability to handle challenges. Research indicates that when children aren’t allowed to explore risky situations, they may develop anxiety later in life. A study led by researchers from Macquarie University and their partners found that children whose parents encourage risk-taking are less likely to show signs of anxiety disorders. So how can we encourage healthy risk-taking while still keeping a watchful eye?
Ellen R. Thompson, an expert in early childhood development, has been examining this issue for over a decade. Her research has led to a call for parents to rethink their approach to safety by avoiding the phrase “be careful.” Just the other evening, while cooking with Jake, I cautioned him with “be careful, that knife is sharp,” which only made him more cautious than necessary. Was it really necessary to issue that warning?
Thompson categorizes risky play into six distinct types:
- climbing high,
- moving fast,
- using dangerous tools,
- engaging with hazardous elements,
- roughhousing, and
- playing in areas where children might get lost.
She encourages parents to replace blanket warnings with more thoughtful phrases. For instance, when your child is scaling a tree, consider saying, “What’s your plan?” or “Take your time.” If they’re swinging a stick, you could say, “Make sure you have enough space,” instead of taking it away.
Why does this matter? By shifting the language we use, we empower our children to feel in control. This approach encourages them to assess their surroundings and make informed choices, fostering a sense of independence and confidence. Isn’t that what we all need? Learning to take calculated risks is a vital life skill, and by adjusting our dialogue, we can help our children trust their instincts instead of instilling fear.
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In summary, transforming the way we communicate about risks can significantly benefit our children’s development. By using empowering language, we guide them toward making safer choices while still allowing them the freedom to explore and grow.
Keyphrase: Alternatives to ‘Be Careful’ for Kids
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