There’s a video somewhere taken by my eight-year-old son before an unexpected incident occurred. He and his six-year-old brother were about 100 feet up a wide, wooded path from their dad, who was busy fishing. One brother was filming the other with a cell phone. “Say something,” he urged his brother. “Ummm….” The younger sibling shuffled and recited in a monotone voice, “Spinosaurus eats sawfish and sawfish eats other fish and other fish eat other things.” In another clip, he banged a stick on the ground, declaring, “Good walking stick!”
They were simply two boys left to their own devices on what could generously be described as a wooded trail along the banks of a calm river. They understood the importance of staying on the path, and even if they had strayed, they were well aware that the river was low that day and always knew to keep their distance. They could easily hear their dad’s fishing alarms and had a cell phone they knew how to use. Their father was just a stone’s throw away.
Shortly after that video was recorded, a woman approached them. She looked to be in her late fifties or early sixties, dressed in typical power-walking attire, complete with a windbreaker tied around her waist. Without any introductions, she brusquely asked, “Where are your parents?”
After they explained that they were with their dad, they dashed back to him. The woman didn’t follow to verify their story; instead, she contacted the park rangers, reporting that children were alone on the trail.
When she spotted my kids again, happily fishing with their dad, my younger son hid, his favorite tactic in uncomfortable situations. The woman, suddenly apologetic, explained, “I called the rangers because I saw two kids alone… can never be too careful… like that child in California last week…” Her fears didn’t revolve around drowning, which was a more immediate concern. Instead, she was preoccupied with the threat of predators.
“My wife is right here,” my husband shot back. “The only person scaring them is you.” The woman left in a huff.
My sons later revealed that she had frightened them. I don’t want to be a helicopter parent. I aim to raise independent kids—kids who can explore the world, even if that means venturing just 100 feet away, with the assurance that most people are good. They know basic safety measures like calling for help or finding an adult if needed.
But this is the reality I face. The Brennan Center reports that crime rates in 2015 were half of what they were in 1990, and 22% lower than at the turn of the century. Children today are statistically safer than we were. For instance, physical assaults against kids dropped by 33% from 2003 to 2011, while attempted or completed abductions decreased by 43% in the same timeframe, according to the University of New Hampshire Crimes Against Children Research Center. Strikingly, only 115 children are abducted by strangers each year, with only 50 resulting in fatalities.
Conversely, the CDC states that around ten individuals die daily from unintentional drowning, with one in five of those being children. For every child who drowns, five receive emergency care for submersion incidents. Drowning ranks as the fifth leading cause of accidental death in the U.S. My children were next to a river, which understandably raises concern. However, they were well aware of the dangers and maintained their distance.
We have shifted our risk perception from the probable to the sensational, allowing fears of random predators to dictate our parenting choices. My kids are eight and six—am I really supposed to hold their hands constantly? They are at an age where they should be exploring, testing boundaries, and discovering who they are outside of parental supervision.
How are they supposed to achieve this when society reacts with panic if they wander just 100 feet away? The same baby boomers who criticize Millennials for their perceived dependency are ironically the ones expecting parents to be over-involved. The Washington Post reports alarming statistics, indicating that 44% of college students exhibit symptoms of depression, with suicide being a leading cause of death among this demographic. Many struggle to think independently, having been hindered by helicopter parenting that stifles their ability to confront challenges on their own.
Yet, if I live in a society that pressures me to hover over my children, how can I foster independence? I refuse to hold my 8- and 6-year-olds back from learning vital life skills. They need time away from adults to grow, just like previous generations who were told to go outside and play until dinner.
How do we cope in a world filled with people like that woman who called the park rangers on us? We stand firm, armed with sanity and reason. We encourage our kids to explore the trail, the street, and even the store. In essence, we keep moving forward. For the sake of our children, it’s the only choice we have.
Summary:
This article reflects on the challenges of raising independent children in a society filled with fear and overprotectiveness. It discusses an incident involving two young boys who were reported missing while playing near their father, highlighting the absurdity of helicopter parenting in a time when crime rates are decreasing. The author argues against the sensational fears surrounding child safety and emphasizes the necessity for children to explore and learn to navigate the world on their own.
Keyphrase: Encouraging independence in children
Tags: home insemination kit, home insemination syringe, self insemination