A few weeks back, my daughter, Emily, shared that she had made it to the finals of her school’s Geography Bee. She expressed her nervousness, saying, “I don’t think I’ll win, so I’m not sure if I want to participate.”
I completely understand where she was coming from. Even at my age, I sometimes wrestle with those same feelings of self-doubt, which can be baffling since I know better. The challenge lies in instilling confidence in her to give it her all, no matter the outcome. We certainly don’t want our kids feeling overwhelmed to the point where they lose the joy of trying new things.
So, I encouraged Emily to take the stage, focus on my support, and simply do her best. I assured her that regardless of the result, I would be proud of her efforts. And she did just that, though I could see her internal struggle with the desire to excel. While she didn’t clinch the win, she faced the challenge head-on and hopefully found some enjoyment in the experience. I remind her that being an average kid doesn’t equate to being unsuccessful or inadequate, and I will always support her without disappointment, regardless of how she performs.
All three of my kids fall into the “average” category. They sometimes make the honor roll, but they earn those grades through hard work. Schoolwork doesn’t come naturally to them, and while they participate in sports and clubs, they are not star players or top scholars. And you know what? I’m just fine with that.
Of course, there are moments when I wish for them to excel in something to boost their self-esteem. As their mother, it’s natural to want the best for them. And yes, there are times I feel frustrated when I see them slacking off, but that frustration often stems from my own experiences in school, where I too felt indifferent about academics and sports.
Reflecting on a past incident, I witnessed another parent berating his son after a basketball game. The boy was clearly talented, but it made me question whether he played for love or out of fear of disappointing his dad. That’s an immense burden to place on a child. Our kids shouldn’t be ridiculed for being average; they simply need acceptance.
While we can motivate our children to strive for their best, we shouldn’t impose unrealistic expectations that could harm their self-worth. Remember, you didn’t have kids to chase your own unfulfilled dreams through them. They are individuals, not extensions of yourself.
I never want my kids to feel that I am let down because they missed a shot in a game or a question during the Geography Bee. I take pride in their courage to participate, face their peers, and give it their all. So yes, I proudly embrace my three wonderfully average children, and my love for them is unwavering, whether they bring home perfect report cards or not.
What truly matters is their happiness, kindness, and effort. They know I care about these values because I remind them constantly. Average kids can be absolutely amazing people too!
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Summary
The author reflects on the importance of embracing average achievements in children, emphasizing that self-worth should not be tied to winning or excelling in academics or sports. They advocate for acceptance and support over pressure, reminding us that happiness and effort matter more than perfection.
Keyphrase: embracing average achievements in children
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