It all begins before we even get to bed. Our queen-sized mattress is paired with a sidecarred twin, yet my 3-year-old still insists on sharing our space. After nursing him to sleep, I attempt to sneak away for some much-needed time with my partner. But as soon as we settle in, it starts: the stirring, the whimpering — that frustrating sound that could either fade away or escalate into full-blown howls. I reach over to comfort him, patting him gently until he quiets down. I finally get comfortable again, only for the crying to resume.
It’s nearly midnight, and this little one needs to sleep; he was up until 9 p.m. already. I wait, but the crying persists and intensifies. I stroke his back, and he drifts into a restless sleep marked by kicking and moaning. I can already tell it’s going to be another long night.
It turns out, it’s not just newborns that struggle with sleep. Toddlers and preschoolers can be challenging sleepers too. By 6 a.m., Sunny is awake and demanding mama milk. I typically nurse only before bedtime, but desperation leads me to compromise. I groggily pull down one side of my shirt, and he latches on like a piranha. After what feels like an eternity — 5 or maybe 15 minutes? — he’s shrieking for “the other mama milk.” Fine, whatever.
I roll him over and repeat the process: yank down, latch on, and pray for a few more minutes of sleep. But eventually, he decides he’s fully awake. “I awake!” he announces, bouncing out to the living room. I can only hope my partner has started the coffee before heading to work as I shuffle into the hallway.
Sleep Recommendations for Toddlers and Preschoolers
According to Parents, toddlers aged 1 to 2 should get around 11 to 14 hours of sleep, including two naps. For kids aged 3 to 5, the recommendation is 10 to 13 hours, usually with one nap that typically disappears around age 5. Unfortunately for me, Sunny gave up his nap at age 2. Parents suggests establishing routines, stopping kids from getting out of bed at night, and providing a lovey to ease nighttime fears.
Parenting expert Mark Henson notes that nighttime awakenings can stem from toddlers grappling with a sense of control and autonomy. Factors such as the arrival of a sibling, starting preschool, dietary changes, or a parent returning to work can also impact sleep. Potty training, excessive daytime sleep, and too-early bedtimes might also play a role.
None of these reasons seem to explain Sunny’s sleep disruptions. Thanks for nothing, Mark.
Shared Experiences Among Parents
I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Jane Thompson, another parent, shares that her 3-year-old also has sleep challenges. “He refuses to stick to a schedule,” she explains. After trying to enforce one since he was a baby, she eventually threw in the towel. Now, her son is awake all night and sleeps during the day, and I can certainly relate.
As the parenting experts suggest, Sunny should still be napping daily — but we learned a year ago that if he naps, he won’t sleep until 1 a.m. Sometimes we can’t avoid him dozing off in the car, and we can only hope he doesn’t nap for too long. If he does, it messes up everyone’s sleep schedules, including his siblings, who might try to crawl into our bed while the little one is still awake.
The Reality of Sleep Issues
According to Today’s Parent, sleep expert Dr. Linda Johnson states that about 40% of children will face sleep issues by age 18. By sleep issues, she means any difficulty related to falling or staying asleep that affects the child or family. That sounds about right, and I’m thankful my kids are getting their sleep struggles out of the way early.
I faced similar problems with my 7-year-old, who now sleeps soundly through the night. Thank goodness. I hold onto hope that my younger children will eventually follow suit — one day, and what a glorious day that will be.
To all the parents of restless sleepers, remember, you are not alone. There is solidarity in our sleepless nights.
Further Reading
For more insights, check out this guide on boosting fertility supplements and understanding sleep challenges in children at Modern Family Blog and get expert information on intrauterine insemination.
Summary
Toddlers and preschoolers, like infants, can also struggle with sleep, leading to restless nights for parents. Establishing a routine and understanding the underlying causes can help, but every child is unique. Many parents share similar experiences, fostering a sense of community amid these challenges.