My youngest child is just four years old and already captivated by screens. His obsession isn’t just with any screens; it’s the interactive ones—like playing Angry Birds on the Roku or engaging in dinosaur games on the TV. Now, at this tender age, he’s even been introduced to Snapchat by his babysitter, who thought it would be fun for him to take silly pictures and add quirky overlays. As a result, he’s constantly trying to commandeer my account to create silly images filled with emojis, sloths, and sparkly text. I let him indulge in this creativity, often sharing his adorable snapshots with friends under the label “Milo’s snap.”
Occasionally, I might ask, “Want to send this to Miss Jess?” (his babysitter) or someone else, but the truth is, he doesn’t have any friends, nor does he possess a Snapchat account, and he doesn’t know how to send snaps.
But my eight-year-old, Noah, is a different story. He’s at an age where his friends are beginning to explore social media. Platforms like Musical.ly are designed for kids to post videos of themselves lip-syncing, but I’ve noticed that many of these clips are professionally edited and far beyond what I can manage.
What if I were to give Noah a phone? I recently read about a child who relocated to California and found herself the only kid in her fourth-grade class without a smartphone. A Nielsen report from last February revealed that 45% of kids aged 10 to 12 own mobile phones with service plans, and 16% get them as early as age eight. Eight.
My son is still struggling to master tying his shoelaces.
Most parents say they give their kids phones to ensure they can easily reach them, track their location, or because their children have been persistently requesting one until they finally relent. Noah has started asking, and I am absolutely terrified.
I’m not overly concerned about Facebook or Instagram; I doubt he would find many friends there, and the text-heavy Facebook platform wouldn’t appeal to him due to his dysgraphia. However, Snapchat? That’s a different matter entirely. It wouldn’t take much for one of his peers to mock one of his snaps, sending him spiraling into self-doubt. Noah is impressionable, and he has a genetic predisposition to anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder, which makes me more anxious as a parent. If any child needs to be insulated from potential harm, it’s him.
Then there’s Musical.ly, which is incredibly popular among his age group. While it appears innocent enough, one parent likens it to dropping your kid off at a mysterious warehouse downtown, hoping it’s filled with good people rather than the worst of humanity. Your child can see and hear everything, but you have no idea who they’re interacting with.
The content on these platforms can be disturbing. I’ve come across videos of young girls lip-syncing, and I can’t help but wonder where their parents are. Some videos promote harmful ideologies, like “proana” or pro-anorexia content, with titles like “Thinspirations” and discussions about calorie counts. I cringe at the thought of what I encountered in my own youth, and I certainly don’t want my son to encounter such harmful messages.
In addition, there are videos depicting self-harm and suicide, with teens expressing their pain and struggles. Searching for “suicidal” reveals a plethora of disturbing content that I’d rather keep away from my son, especially given his vulnerability to mental health issues.
As a parent, the digital landscape is overwhelming and frightening.
And I haven’t even touched on the predators lurking online, the inappropriate content on YouTube featuring beloved characters, or the dangers of online gaming communities that can groom children. The pressure to gain likes and validation on social media can lead to disappointment and self-esteem issues.
I’ve decided that my kids will only get smartphones when they are mature enough to handle them responsibly—likely not until they turn sixteen. Until then, they can use old-school cameras or flip-phones. The digital world is far too chaotic for me to navigate, and I want to protect my children from its dangers for as long as possible. After all, isn’t that our primary role as parents?
This article was originally published on March 14, 2018.
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Summary:
The digital age presents numerous challenges for parents, particularly concerning their children’s exposure to social media and its potential dangers. Balancing the desire for connection with the need for safety is a constant struggle, particularly for parents of young children.
Keyphrase: Internet safety for kids
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