Parenthood is already a challenging journey, but imagine navigating it with an overwhelming fear of germs. For some parents, this fear can be so intense that it drives them to wash their hands compulsively—sometimes more than 100 times a day. It can become so crippling that even shaking hands or using a public restroom feels impossible. For these individuals, the struggle is a daily reality.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by two main components: obsessions and compulsions. As defined by Psychology Today, obsessions are intrusive thoughts or worries that, while recognized as irrational, are uncontrollable. Compulsions, on the other hand, are the rituals that individuals feel compelled to perform in order to alleviate the distress caused by these obsessions.
The obsessions can feel like an unrelenting itch, while the compulsions act as a scratch that provides temporary relief. Although OCD is often associated with specific rituals—like turning a doorknob a certain number of times or checking locks repeatedly—it can also present itself through severe anxiety.
For me, the idea of germs was akin to invisible bugs crawling all over me. I would wash my hands until they were painfully cracked, convinced that only then could I escape from these imaginary pests. My life revolved around “eliminating germs.” I was the one at the grocery store who disinfected the cart multiple times and carried hand sanitizer on my keychain, unable to bear touching anything in public without first sanitizing.
OCD can manifest in various forms and is typically diagnosed when it significantly disrupts daily living. Treatment options range from cognitive behavioral therapy to medication. I have personally experienced both. I spent years in therapy, learning to accept that germs play a role in strengthening our immune systems. Now, I take anxiety medication that helps manage both the intrusive thoughts and the compulsions.
However, even with these tools, I still feel anxious when taking my kids to public play areas. Places with ball pits or oversized mascots can make me feel queasy. When my children were younger and had a habit of putting random objects in their mouths, the thought of germs made me feel physically ill. After playdates, I often found myself reaching for the Lysol to rid my home of the germs I imagined they brought back.
Many of us casually use the term “OCD” to describe our desire for order in our lives. We might insist on our towels being folded a certain way or have a specific method for organizing the kitchen. While these tendencies can be relatable, they don’t encompass the true struggle of living with OCD. For parents, the chaos that comes with children is often at odds with the need for control.
Perfectionism is a common byproduct of OCD, as individuals try to manage aspects of their lives that they can control while grappling with the uncontrollable nature of their condition. With children, who often resemble walking petri dishes, this struggle becomes even more pronounced.
If you know someone dealing with persistent, unwanted thoughts, please don’t dismiss their experience. Avoid telling them to “just relax.” Instead, encourage them to seek professional help, especially if it interferes with their daily life. I can attest that this is crucial for the wellbeing of the entire family.
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Summary:
Parenting with OCD presents unique challenges, especially for those with an intense fear of germs. This condition, characterized by uncontrollable obsessions and compulsions, can significantly impact daily life. While treatment options exist, the struggle remains real, particularly in chaotic environments like those involving children. Understanding and support from loved ones can make a world of difference.
Keyphrase: Parenting with OCD
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