I can’t say I’m proud of my behavior during a recent incident at Whole Foods. Throwing food in public is certainly not the best way to handle a situation. But before you jump to conclusions, let me explain.
My son, Zach, is on the autism spectrum and faces behavioral challenges due to his condition. While I may not be the best role model (considering I resorted to throwing food), Zach has neurological differences that turn an ordinary grocery trip into a major undertaking.
Every Sunday, I take my two boys—Zach, who is six and on the spectrum, and my three-year-old, Liam—to Whole Foods for breakfast. This ritual serves a dual purpose: it gives both boys a chance to practice how to behave in public, and the scrambled eggs at the breakfast bar are the only ones Zach will eat.
Before we step foot in the store, I remind them of the rules: calm voices, safe hands, and stick together. Yet, as soon as we enter, it’s like those reminders evaporate into the air with the automatic doors.
There’s something about the atmosphere at Whole Foods that seems to trigger Zach. The bright lights, high ceilings, and colorful product displays can overwhelm kids on the spectrum, and Zach is no exception. Almost immediately, he becomes more animated, his limbs flailing and loud, random sounds escaping his mouth.
We attract attention, but it’s different from the sympathetic glances I used to receive when he was younger. Now, the looks we get seem to scream: “Get your child under control.” They have no idea how much effort I put into this every day. Managing Zach’s behavior is practically a full-time job filled with therapy sessions, behavioral plans, and sticker charts—all aimed at helping him learn self-control.
That morning, perhaps it was the pressure of judgment that led to my reaction, or maybe I was just exhausted from the constant challenges of parenting a child on the spectrum. Either way, I reached my breaking point at the oatmeal bar.
As I helped Zach serve himself, he was his usual excitable self, glopping oatmeal into his bowl and bouncing in place as he eyed the toppings. I noticed a man standing too close behind us, clearly impatient. He was tall, had a mustache, and wore a menacing expression. He directed a sharp remark at my son: “Slow down.”
I have little patience for bullies, especially those who use their size and presence to intimidate. No one talks to my child like that. “Please don’t speak to him that way,” I replied.
“Stick it in your ear, Ma’am,” he shot back.
“Excuse me?” I was taken aback.
He leaned in closer and repeated himself in a condescending manner, “Stick – It – In – Your – Ear–Ma’am.”
I should have walked away right then. The man could have been dangerous. My kids were watching. I repeated my own mantra in my head: calm voices, safe hands, stick together! But then, with a swift motion, I knocked his to-go bowl of oatmeal off the counter.
“Oops, looks like I accidentally knocked over your oatmeal,” I said, feigning innocence.
“Security!” he bellowed. “I’ve been assaulted!”
He stormed off but not before yanking a large box of scrambled eggs from my cart and sending it flying across the floor.
My boys fell silent, their eyes wide. This was spiraling out of control. We needed to leave. As we made our way to the exit, I briefly explained the situation to the cashier—“That man just threw eggs everywhere.”
I’m not proud of my actions. They contradicted everything I strive to teach my children: that we are responsible for making good choices, even when others don’t. I felt embarrassed and scared, leaving someone else to clean up the mess.
This experience taught me that I need to prioritize my own well-being—be it through therapy or some form of stress relief like kickboxing. The takeaway for everyone else is to give my son the space to be himself. Yes, he’s loud and sometimes knocks over displays of loofahs and incense sticks, but he’s doing his best—and so am I.
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Summary:
The author shares an experience of an emotional food fight at Whole Foods triggered by frustrations of parenting a child on the autism spectrum. After an altercation with an impatient man, the author reflects on the challenges of managing her son’s behavior in public and the importance of self-care. The incident serves as a reminder for the need for understanding and compassion toward children with special needs.
Keyphrase: food fight at Whole Foods
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