In a quiet corner of the rink, I overheard two parents discussing a young boy, still decked out in his hockey gear, anxiously waiting by the double doors. “His mom is never around; it’s so sad,” one parent murmured. “If I could figure out which bag is his, I’d help him get ready,” came the reply.
Parenting is a relentless juggling act, isn’t it? From rushing to hockey practice to soccer games, and remembering every little thing like the cardboard box for a school project or Valentine’s cards for the class party, it can feel overwhelming. There’s the endless list of tasks: signing permission slips, picking up gifts for birthday parties, and making sure snacks are packed alongside the lunches you prepared the night before. It’s about finding the right shoes for dance competitions, replacing skates as your son’s feet grow, and ensuring your daughter has the right snow pants when the weather turns chilly. And let’s not forget about dinner prep and making sure your kids are ready for school with their shoes, hats, and gloves.
Your hustle may look different from mine, but we all engage in this intricate dance of scheduling and mental checklists that somehow keep us afloat day after day.
Listening to those parents at the rink, I felt a familiar ache in my heart. I recognized the countless times I’ve been that “MIA” mom—the one who can’t drop off or pick up her kids from dance or football. I’ve missed significant events like first-grade parties and nearly missed my three-year-old’s first daycare program because of work commitments.
But here’s the thing: even when I’m not physically present, I am there in spirit. I’m the one who packs my daughter’s dance bag, ensuring she has her jazz, ballet, and tap shoes. I lay out her dance clothes and double-check that my son has his mouth guard, water bottle, and football gear ready to go. Each morning, I prepare their meals and lay out their winter gear before dashing off to work at 6 a.m. Just because you don’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not there.
My physical absence does not reflect my love or commitment to my children. Families come in various shapes and sizes, and we shouldn’t judge one another based on appearances. Sometimes life throws us curveballs—like work obligations, caring for aging parents, or managing the demands of single parenting. We all have our own unique circumstances.
A couple of weeks ago, I was skiing in Whistler, Canada with my husband, who was hosting a conference. I ran into an old friend who asked if this was my first time leaving my kids for an extended period. It wasn’t. I shared how, while leaving them comes with its share of guilt and anxiety, it also brings excitement and joy. It’s important for my kids to understand that life doesn’t solely revolve around them. I love them deeply and treasure our time together, but I also need to nurture the other facets of my life that contribute to my happiness.
Sometimes, it’s unavoidable; I have to work when I have to work. But prioritizing a night out or a weekend away can also be essential. My life revolves around my kids, but it also includes being true to myself and showing them the strength of individuality.
Every parent strives to be there for their children in the best way possible. Sometimes that means being late to pick them up because their sibling has an overlapping commitment. It can mean hiring a babysitter for dance practice when work calls, or taking a weekend trip to nurture your marriage. It might also mean rearranging your schedule to volunteer at a school event or skipping a work meeting to attend a dance competition.
Being the “MIA” mom doesn’t indicate a lack of effort. I know this all too well. So to that hockey parent who feels absent, I see you. Your child is in that well-fitted helmet and jersey because of you. You’re doing your best, and that’s what matters.
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In conclusion, remember that every family is unique, and we all do our best in our own way. It’s essential to embrace our individual journeys without comparing ourselves to others.
Keyphrase: MIA Parents
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