I’ll admit it: I spent nearly eight years of marriage without doing anything particularly special for my wife on Valentine’s Day. I don’t share this to preach from a pedestal, but rather to connect with those of you who might find yourselves in a similar situation. If you’re reading this and haven’t done something meaningful for your partner, know that I was once in your shoes.
When Sarah and I tied the knot, I was focused on my college studies. After graduation, she returned to school, and we welcomed three kids into our lives. We moved several times, often in places without family nearby, making hiring a babysitter a challenge. Looking back, I realize that I often felt we couldn’t justify spending money on a nice outing or that we just didn’t have the time. But truth be told, we could have made it happen.
We easily could have dressed up and gone out, but I wasn’t keen on that idea. I’ve only worn a tuxedo three times: for my brother’s wedding, my sister’s wedding, and, of course, my own. Honestly, I didn’t enjoy any of those occasions. Finding someone to watch the kids could have been a possibility, too, but I hesitated to ask favors from acquaintances.
The real reason we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day wasn’t about finances or childcare; it was my own laziness. And let me tell you, laziness isn’t a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
What Does “Doing Something Nice” Really Mean?
Let’s clarify what “doing something nice on Valentine’s Day” really means. It’s not just sending a quick text saying “I love you,” ordering a heart-shaped pizza, or offering a wink with a massage coupon that often ends up being more for you than for her. And let’s steer clear of edible lingerie.
Doing something nice should involve genuine effort—something out of the ordinary. It could be as simple as making reservations at a restaurant known for its fine dining. If that’s outside your budget, get creative! Plan a surprise trip to the spot where you had your first date or where you held hands for the first time. You could even order her flowers similar to those from your wedding bouquet, or create a photo album filled with cherished memories. Both of these options are not only easy to find online but also budget-friendly.
Why Bother?
Now you might ask, “Why bother with all this?” After all, isn’t Valentine’s Day just a commercialized occasion? Maybe. But taking the effort to secure a sitter and make plans can be a beautiful expression of love.
I don’t do something nice for my wife just to check a box on a list. My reasons are more self-serving.
A few years back, I decided to treat Sarah to an upscale restaurant for Valentine’s Day. We went to a lovely vineyard in Oregon, perched on a hill that stretched out over endless rows of grapes. The building resembled a castle, constructed from stone with grand windows that offered breathtaking views.
Dressed to impress, we sat next to a warm fireplace, savoring our meals while the sun set. Even after more than a decade of marriage, the way the fading light made her eyes pop with color reignited feelings I hadn’t experienced in a while. The combination of her laughter and the crackling fire created a melody that resonated deeply.
I know this may sound overly sentimental, but the memory of that night stuck with me for days. It became clear that doing something special for my wife on Valentine’s Day wasn’t a waste of time or money; it was an investment in our relationship. In the whirlwind of parenting and life, taking time to see your partner in a new light is worth it, don’t you think?
Resources for Your Journey
For those of you considering home insemination, there are resources like this one, which provides great insights. They also have an excellent guide on pregnancy that can be helpful as you navigate this journey.
Conclusion
In summary, taking the time to do something special for your partner on Valentine’s Day can yield wonderful results for your relationship. It’s not just about the day itself, but rather the connection you foster and the memories you create together.
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