What I Learned After My Son’s Autism Diagnosis

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Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)—the moment I first heard these words in connection to my son, a whirlwind of emotions surged within me. My mind was a chaotic jumble as I grappled with the reality of entering a new chapter in our lives, one that starkly contrasted my meticulously planned vision of parenthood.

I had envisioned my children as high-achieving students, excelling in academics and extracurricular activities, obedient and emotionally well-adjusted individuals, all while basking in the support of their seemingly perfect parents. Oh, how naive I was! It’s never easy to have your dream world turned upside down, but life has a way of delivering unexpected truths, and here we are.

Understanding Our New Normal

So, what does this “new normal” actually entail for our family? To be honest, it merely confirmed what I had sensed deep within me from the very start. When I cradled my firstborn, I instinctively knew he was unique—not in the generic way that all children are distinctive, but in a way that was profoundly different. The parenting handbook might have promised certain milestones, but my son consistently defied those expectations.

Take sleep, for instance—my baby never napped. He might manage a brief 15 to 20-minute snooze, but that was the extent of it. With a vocal prowess that could shatter glass, he embodied the essence of a colicky infant, overwhelmed and anxious even as a tiny being.

As he matured, his distinctiveness only became more pronounced. Unlike most babies who explore their world by tasting everything, he would carefully examine objects, fascinated by their details for several minutes before moving on. By the time he was 20 months, he had memorized the entire U.S. map using an interactive toy, answering every question correctly with no assistance from me. His remarkable memory and focus were evident.

Embracing the Journey

Over the years, I became increasingly aware of his quirks—the intense meltdowns, the compulsive behaviors, the anxiety, and the occasional tics. Each of these traits was like a puzzle piece, taking seven years to fit together into a comprehensive picture. Gradually, it all clicked.

This new normal has turned out to be liberating. We are now positioned to ensure that our son receives the support he needs to flourish in school, at home, and beyond. He will engage with specialists who understand ASD and anxiety, learning coping strategies for everyday social interactions. School will transform into a nurturing environment tailored to his unique learning style. With this diagnosis comes a sense of freedom.

While many aspects of our lives will shift, some will remain unchanged. My curious little boy will still be captivated by dinosaurs, maps, and numbers, even if his peers gravitate toward sports and movies. He will still seek affirmation, just as we all do, and he will continue to receive love and guidance as he grows, albeit with some adjustments to our parenting techniques. The most significant change we are embracing is the knowledge and tools we now possess to support our exceptional child with ASD.

The Power of Knowledge

Knowledge is indeed empowering. I have always acknowledged this truth, but truly internalizing it has been a journey. Initially, I believed that labeling my son would only bring stigma and harm. I was afraid of how others would perceive my child when he struggled with tasks that seemed effortless for his peers, such as blowing up a balloon or behaving calmly during a football game.

In essence, my hesitance stemmed from selfishness. I was like an anxious teenager worrying about the opinions of my peers, fearful that they would view my son as different—something that felt daunting and uncomfortable. However, I failed to recognize that being different can also be extraordinary. Just look at the contributions of individuals like Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton, both of whom were on the autism spectrum.

When you finally gain access to the resources and understanding needed to help your child, an overwhelming sense of peace washes over you. Yes, my child is different, but that doesn’t hinder his ability to learn. He simply learns in his own unique way. My son may take longer to forge deep friendships, but that doesn’t mean meaningful connections aren’t possible. He will learn to navigate life’s challenges—just in his own distinctive style.

A Message to Other Parents

If I could impart one piece of wisdom to another parent facing the reality of a child who is a bit “different,” it would be this: don’t shy away from a diagnosis. Embrace it. The real fear lies in the absence of knowledge, which could prevent your child from thriving in their unique and remarkable journey. Ultimately, different isn’t so daunting, and this new normal can indeed be our new “normal.”

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In summary, navigating the complexities of a child’s autism diagnosis can lead to unexpected insights and opportunities for growth, both for the child and the parents. Embracing the journey with knowledge and support can transform challenges into unique strengths.

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