Surrogacy is an evolving option for aspiring parents, yet it remains somewhat rare and often misunderstood. Having personally experienced the journey as a gestational surrogate—affectionately termed a “tummy host”—for nine months, I carried a beautiful baby (sometimes called a “surrobabe”) for dear friends. Throughout the process, I encountered numerous inquiries from friends, colleagues, and even strangers, but three questions consistently emerged.
1. Why Did You Choose Surrogacy?
My motivation stemmed from love. Picture the serenity of a quiet evening when your children are sound asleep, and you sneak in for one last kiss, feeling an overwhelming rush of affection that makes your heart swell. That’s the feeling I wanted to help another family experience. I’m fortunate to have a supportive family, a healthy body, and a functioning uterus, so I chose to lend it to my friends. In our instance, the baby’s parents were a same-sex couple, requiring scientific assistance and the generosity of women like me—a surrogate and an egg donor.
2. How Does the Surrogacy Process Work?
When my family and I decided to embark on this surrogacy journey, we quickly realized the complexity involved. We enlisted the help of an agency to navigate the various steps and manage the necessary paperwork. Once matched with a couple registered with the same agency, I underwent a process akin to in vitro fertilization (IVF)—minus the egg retrieval since a traditional surrogacy using my own eggs wasn’t suitable for my situation.
Initially, my body was induced into a menopausal state to prevent my natural cycle from interfering. Then, we “tricked” it into believing I was already pregnant by transferring a frozen three-day-old embryo. Following this, I continued with medications and injections until my hormones stabilized enough to support the pregnancy.
The experience mirrored my previous pregnancies but with heightened intensity—more anxiety, morning sickness, and cravings, to name a few. I received prenatal care locally, and the birth took place at a nearby hospital. My husband, doula, and one of the dads joined me, while the other was racing to arrive just in time, as the baby decided to make an early entrance. After 24 hours in the hospital, the baby went home with her ecstatic dads.
3. Would You Do It Again?
Absolutely, yes! However, let me clarify—if presented with the opportunity to do it again, knowing what I know now, I would jump at the chance. It was one of the most profound, surreal experiences of my life. Despite the overwhelming moments and challenges, I believe I emerged as a better person from the experience, and I know the world is enriched by the addition of another loving family. Though, if someone were to ask me to be a surrogate again right now, I might just feel a little queasy!
For those interested in enhancing fertility, consider exploring fertility supplements, as discussed in our related blog post. If you’re looking for at-home insemination solutions, visit Make a Mom for expert guidance. Additionally, Women’s Health offers excellent resources about pregnancy and home insemination.