I have a three-year-old daughter named Mia who has been experiencing a speech delay. Though her vocabulary has improved significantly since she began attending a special preschool, she still struggles to form complete sentences. As a result, it often turns into a game of twenty questions when something goes awry.
About three weeks ago, Mia began expressing her discomfort about the darkness in her room at night. Understanding that children at this age often develop a fear of the dark, I decided it was perfectly reasonable to get her a small night light. Things seemed to be going well until one night when we put her to bed. Moments later, my partner rushed in because Mia was screaming in a way I had never heard before.
When he asked her what was wrong, she pointed to her bookshelf and, with wide, terrified eyes, said “ghost.” Since both my partner and I believe in spirits, we didn’t dismiss her fears or tell her that ghosts aren’t real. Instead, he lifted her up and walked over to the bookshelf, trying to show her that the shadows cast by the night light were not frightening. However, her panic only intensified. He stayed with her until she calmed down enough to fall asleep.
After some research, I discovered that encouraging children to talk about what they’ve seen, or even draw it, can be helpful. The following morning, I sat with Mia and asked her to share more about this ghost. She was willing to engage, so I inquired whether the ghost was a boy or a girl. Without hesitation, she replied, “girl.”
Curious, I asked if the ghost was small like her or big like me. She answered that it was small. Then I asked what the ghost was wearing, and she said, “green shirt.” When I probed about the ghost’s hair color, she couldn’t provide an answer. I continued, asking if the ghost was always there, to which she replied, “No. Dark.”
Next, I asked if the ghost was a friend, and she bluntly stated, “No.” At this point, I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me, so I suggested that she draw the girl. She agreed, but as she colored, she said, “no hands.” Confused, I asked her to clarify, and she responded, “No hands. Cut.” I pressed further, “Her hands were cut?” and she confirmed, “Yes. No arms.”
When I asked what had happened to the ghost’s arms, she replied, “Broke. Boo-boo.” Not only was there a ghost in Mia’s room, but it was an injured one too. To top off her drawing, she attempted to write the ghost’s name, which sent me into a mild panic, prompting me to text my partner for support. Thankfully, the topic didn’t resurface for the remainder of the day.
That evening, my partner and I decided to stay with Mia until she felt at ease. We also turned on a brighter light to help ease her fears. I reassured her that she was safe and mentioned the dream catchers and jade figurine in her room, which were meant to protect her. Despite my attempts to calm her, Mia remained visibly anxious.
We inquired if something specific was causing her fear, to which she simply replied, “Ghost.” When we asked where the ghost was, she immediately pointed under her train table. My partner knelt down and told the ghost to leave, but this didn’t help Mia’s anxiety. In a clever move, she placed one of her dinosaur toys beneath the table, facing toward where she believed the ghost was. I praised her idea and suggested we surround the table with all her dinosaur toys for added protection. She seemed to relax significantly after that.
Eventually, after some more time, she settled down in bed, and we said our goodnights. While she whimpered a bit after we left, the night passed without any further incidents.
As I reflect on this ghost saga, I can’t help but wonder where it will lead. I’m not sure how long this “ghost” will be around or if the dinosaurs will suffice to keep her calm. What I do know is that my sleep has been disrupted, as every sound from the monitor or slight whimper from her prompts us to check on her. I even opted to wake her up in the morning and suggested we get ready in the living room, closing the door behind me to keep my own unease at bay.
Children experiencing ghost sightings is a phenomenon that many families encounter. How you choose to address it is up to you. One thing is certain: don’t tell your child their fears are unfounded. Allow them to express their fear but reassure them of their safety. If it takes longer to get them to sleep, be patient and brave for their sake. Once they feel comfortable, you can do a little research on how to deal with ghosts. I hear sage is quite effective.
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In summary, handling your child’s ghost sightings requires a balance of empathy and reassurance. Encourage them to talk about their fears while ensuring they feel safe. At the same time, take care of your own well-being, as this can be a challenging phase for the whole family.
Keyphrase: handling ghosts in children
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